If the Internet thinks you should date someone you held after they were born, you’re doing it wrong.

Mary goes to a party of an acquaintance. Les is there. Mary pretends Les does not exist. No one exists to Les but Mary. Les floats through crowds to speak simple and mundane words at Mary. Les has an intuition about Mary.

For all of you starry-eyed, veggie-loving romantics out there, I’d like to provide you with a few resources you can thank me later for.

Casually, our mutual friend asked me, “Isn’t it sweet? Do you know? He and blah blah blah new girlfriend are engaged?” It wasn’t until I’d actually heard the words spoken that I began to feel something like a ship, maybe my ship, slowly sinking.

Dear Advice A Toi, I’m not a bad-looking guy, and I do ok with the ladies. But I have a hard time rising to the occasion. This only happens on my initial encounter with a lady, but it’s pretty embarrassing. What do I do?

Longtime 24SevenCities contributor Jerome Spencer confronts the ghosts of this town as he gets over a girl.