In Hampton Roads, a marriage license costs $30 and a Justice of the Peace union another $50.

There are no barriers to attain this license if you are of opposite sex and older than age 18 (or just 16 with your parent’s consent). There is no legal information to read, no health screenings to pass, no counsel on the current statistics of marriage and no reminder that nearly half of them end in divorce. An unassuming, idealistic and naïve man and woman can bind their lives together legally for the same price as dinner and a movie.

In 1997, that’s just what my husband and I did, although we were in Seward County, Nebraska, and paid a laughable $5 to legally wed. For the mere cost of an Extra Value Meal at McDonalds, we joined together in a union that, statistically speaking, could have devastating results: We were aged 21, poor, and students, putting us in a high-risk category for divorce. According to CBS reporter Rome Neal, “Marrying younger than 25 dramatically raises divorce risk.” Yet with ease we acquired our license.

Our story of applying for a license is much like any other in this country. On May 16, 1997, we marched up the stairs to the Seward County courthouse and applied. I remember that the day was sunny and warm. Joshua wore his workout clothes; a basketball T-shirt, shorts and tennis shoes. For some reason, I remember less about my own attire, but I’m sure I was similarly dressed in shorts and sandals. We were in everyday clothes paying everyday prices to enter into a legally binding, exclusive relationship. We were fresh out of our junior year of college. Neither of us were anywhere near realizing our professional goals; him as a medical doctor and me with a PhD in English, which I am still working toward. In sum, we didn’t know ourselves at all.

We entered the county clerk’s office, walked up to the tall, dark wood counter, and asked for a marriage license, the one that would later be signed by witnesses and returned after our wedding ceremony. We offered the most basic information to apply: name, age, address, birthplace, date of birth and the names and birthplaces of our parents. We both listed our occupation as “student.” All we needed was to be of the opposite sex, provide said information and five bucks. The process is the same in Hampton Roads, albeit at a slightly higher fee.

The low cost of marriage licenses certainly promotes legal union. I remember being thrilled that this step–legally, the most important one–fit neatly into our student budget. We were not deterred by expense. A few extra Ramen meals would cover it. The promotion of marriage at such a young age is especially common in rural, midwestern towns. We were part of its legacy. Joshua and I were raised Lutheran and our parents and most of our older siblings had married somewhere between the ages of 19-21.

Military service members, an important demographic in Hampton Roads, also tend to marry young. Many enlisted workers wed and begin families early in life, resulting in divorce at higher rates. According to legalzoom’s Mariah Wodjacz, “Doctors, police officers, and firefighters have a higher risk of divorce than other professionals, but divorce in the military is the highest of all. Research shows that 20 percent of all marriages fall apart within two years when one spouse is on active duty.” This notion is supported by Army Lt. Col. Paul Bliese, a research psychologist, who says, “Evidence shows that long and multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan are damaging military marriages” (qtd. in Zoroya). Bliese further states that, “The pressures are most evident for the younger soldiers.”

Something about the cost of marriage licenses and the ease of attaining them seems both American and un-American at the same time. Marriage at these naïve ages grew out of our country’s Puritan roots. According to Nancy F. Cott, author of Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation, our modern American marriage license and expectations of monogamy are largely the result of white, male and Christian policy-makers who claimed their beliefs and practices superior to “savages” such as Native Americans and immigrating minorities. Mormons were also deemed “barbarous” as many practiced polygamy. “Civilizing” meant instituting legal, monogamous marriages between one man and one woman as the only recognized, acceptable union.

The nominal cost of marriage licensure also bares its history. For 16 centuries, Christianity recognized marriages on the sole disclosure of a couple. If a man and woman simply claimed they’d exchanged marital vows, the Catholic Church honored their union and deemed it marriage. Even without witnesses, couples long ago could verbally commit their lives together even if they were alone in a cornfield. Similarly, cohabitation was recognized as a valid marriage when licensure was nonexistent.

Without a doubt, legal marriage is far cheaper and easier to enter than to divorce. Saying “sayonara” is complicated and has developed into a “staggering $28 billion-a-year industry” (Hoffmann) in America with the average cost thought to be anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 or more. Although cheaper forms of divorce are being developed, most involve divorce court, lawyers and high prices. If a marriage license is so inexpensive, it would make sense that divorce would be equally cheap, but alas, this is America. The reality is that we can easily and cheaply sign our lives away to marriage but cannot cheaply, succinctly and legally detach.

This concept is not dissimilar to our current economic recession. Much like the banks that were able and willing to award cheap, upfront interest-only and subprime home loans to people who could not afford such houses, so is the low cost of marriage license and union and expensive divorce. America tends to lock people into things cheaply and easily without a plan for the outcome. We divorce and we foreclose for high prices, often bankrupt literally and emotionally. We’ve become so bad at negotiating relationships that we naively enter into marriage with little to deter us and need expensive legal help to sort out the messy details of break-ups. Perhaps it would be better to follow the logic of past centuries when verbal consent of vows meant being married. “We’re divorced,” we’d exclaim, and just like that, it would be over.

Interestingly, the recession also seems to have an impact on divorce—fewer couples legally ended their connection last year. Several studies released by The National Marriage Project, an institute at the University of Virginia, show the effect of the economic downturn on relationships. Emily S. Rueb’s quotes Eleanor B. Alter as saying, “The divorce rate is falling, but that’s not the end of the story” (this from a lawyer who has been practicing matrimonial law since 1972, and heads Kasowitz, Benson, Torres & Friedman’s family and matrimonial law department). “Anecdotal evidence,” Ms. Alter said, “explains why people put off divorce when the economy is bad: they are afraid of the expense” (Rueb). Yet again, we see that ending a marriage can be too costly to partake, especially given current economic constraints.

On the flip side, if the low cost of marriage licenses is American, it is also un-American. We are programmed from birth in this country to believe that something expensive has more inherent value than something cheap. Even if the item to be attained actually has similar qualities and outcomes as something less expensive, we Americans are taught through advertising and capitalism, if it costs more, it means more. We might shop for a Coach purse or strive to drive a Mercedes because they cost more than similar products. A generic purse or a Honda will carry our goods or get us where we’re going, but somehow these are less desirable. Bigger is better and more is more.

In this case, then, the actual legal act of marriage is proportionately meaningless. The misnomer here is that the things that look like marriage are expensive and the thing itself is cheap. The ring and wedding ceremony make the act appear more important than what is legal and binding—the marriage license signed by witnesses. The money spent on a ring and ceremonies could arguably be better spent to invest in the couple’s future, perhaps to pay back students loans, put a down payment on a home or start a savings account. Yet again, we equate expensive material items and experiences as valuable with little forethought about what the future holds.

Fantasy futures founded on love.

I wonder if we made the cost of marriage and divorce concordant things that maybe things would be more in balance. What if the legally binding aspect of marriage were increased to its true “market value?” If this union is the best thing going, shouldn’t we have to pay for it accordingly?

Alternatively, if as a society we wish to discount the price of admission, we should likewise discount the price of exit. Right now, if our culturally prescribed love (and the expensive wedding ceremonies) don’t produce happy marriages, all we have left is a pricey divorce and disillusionment. Perhaps if we put a higher price on legal marriage itself or lowered the cost of divorce, we could shift the focus from fantasy to reality.

The day my husband and I applied for a marriage license, we didn’t think about its nominal cost. We were in the throes of young love, naïveté and our Christian parents’ expectations. After nearly 13 years, two children, medical school and residency, two master’s degrees and living in Nebraska, California, Japan and Virginia, we wonder what our $5 marriage license really means. How married are we if it only cost $5? How seriously should we take our union if we have paid the same amount for trivial things like fast food? How binding is a document that cost us so little? Perhaps the marriage license should cost nothing–then there can be no price comparison.

Works Cited

Cott, Nancy F. Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation. Cambridge: UP of Harvard, 2000.

Hoffmann, Leah. “Smart Ways to Save Money in Divorce.” MSNBC.com from Forbes.com. 17 November 2006. Microsoft Network. 21 February 2010. <http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15753189/>.

Neal, Rome. “Signs of A Divorce Ahead?” CBSNews.com. 7 August 2002. Columbia Broadcasting System. 21 February 2010. <http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/08/06/earlyshow/living/main517731.shtml>.

Rueb, Emily S. “Love in the Time of Recession.” NYTimes.com. 9 February 2010. The New York Times. 21 February 2010. <http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/09/love-in-the-time-of-recession/>.

Wojdacz, Mariah. “What’s the Real Status of Divorce in America?” Legalzoom.com. 21 February 2010. <http://www.legalzoom.com/legal-articles/Whats-real-status-of-divorce.html>.

Zoroya, Gregg. “Military Divorces Edge Up as War Takes Toll.” USAToday.com. 27 November 2009. USA Today. 21 February 2010. <http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2009-11-27-military-divorces-war_N.htm >.