Comments on: Seven Cities, Say What?!

By: Gazza

Gazza — Fri, 28 May 2010 01:17:23 +0000

LizzyLou, which one did you laugh at? All of them, or just a single one?

Anyway, I avoid that guy in FF. Something keeps me from going anywhere else though.

By: lizzelizzel

lizzelizzel — Thu, 27 May 2010 21:43:36 +0000

Okay, I laughed.

By: BC

BC — Thu, 27 May 2010 18:32:50 +0000

Guy in line at Farm Fresh: I was going to post this as my facebook
status this morning. (Hand’s his iPhone to his friend).

Guy’s friend (reading from guy’s iPhone): “Why are all my
ex-girlfriends fat?” Are they, dude?

First Guy: Totally. All the girls I dated in high school and college
are like 300 pounds now. I look at their pictures on there and it’s
disgusting. I wrote that status, but then I couldn’t post it.

Guy’s friend (handing back the phone): That’s ok, I just did it for you.

By: Joe

Joe — Thu, 27 May 2010 18:19:42 +0000

AH hahahahaha. That is awesome.

By: joe

joe — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:42:32 +0000

announcer “best in the seven cities”
me I want to stab whoever originally coined the term seven cities in regards to Hampton Roads in the eye.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:33:28 +0000

Trashy looking guy: So, what are we buying here?

Really Trashy looking girlfriend: Lube.

Trashy looking guy: What the f…..???

Really Trashy looking girlfriend: I just figured I would be less embarassed if you came with me…

Hilltop Target entrance.

By: Stephen Duffy

Stephen Duffy — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:47:19 +0000

“….and if your her mom died, would you be like Ha Ha Ha?”

“…and a dark one for when you wet the bed…”

“…would you stop pushing the cart so damn fast, I can’t keep up!”

All in target, all on the same day.

By: Hannah Serrano

Hannah Serrano — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:45:16 +0000

Woman to her husband: “Honey, I can’t find your sweet sausage.” -The Commissary

By: Mallory

Mallory — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:19:18 +0000

Yea, he was very articulate for a little kid.

By: Jesse Scaccia

Jesse Scaccia — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:03:05 +0000

Gross and funny. Tight back muscles? That’s some kind of poop!

By: Mallory

Mallory — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:17:51 +0000

Oh, here’s another encounter. Sorry about the double post, I have a journal full of these things:

Mom: [finishes using bathroom & gets impatient that little boy is still busy]GABE! What are you doing? ARE YOU ALMOST DONE? [sigh]
Gabe: I’m pooping..
Mom: [huffs again] Well hurry up!
Gabe: My stomach hurts. I had a lot to eat soooo.. it’s stuck.
[Mom huffs & storms around the bathroom while I try to not laugh & fail]
Gabe: I’m pooping. My back muscles are tight & contracting.
Mom: Let’s goooo!
Gabe: I’m wiping.
Mom: Just forget about it & come out here right now.
Mom: What are you doing? Let me in there! [pushes on door]
Gabe: I locked it.
[I laugh loudly at this point but don't dare to come out for fear of getting a beating in the ghetto Ross bathroom]

By: Mallory

Mallory — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:15:05 +0000

[check out line is curvy & unorganized in Farm Fresh]
Woman: “Is everyone in line or are we all just hovering to see which one is shortest?” & I look at her, no one responded. She then says, “I guess no one here is a good Christian! This line is long.. WELCOME TO HELL!”
[I shoot her a dirty look; She moves onto scrutinizing her friend]
Woman: “Oh you shouldn’t get candy, get fruit. You shouldn’t have candy since you already have dressing on your salad. If you didn’t put dressing on your salad then it would be okay to get candy. My husband doesn’t care about his trans fats, you should care about your trans fats!”

I wanted to say something to her but I didn’t. I wanted to say, “Thanks for assuming everyone believes in God, asshole” but I didn’t want to come down to her level.

By: Manecdote

Manecdote — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:03:28 +0000

Jesse! I know that super gay guy at the Farm Fresh! Last time I went he says to me: “y’all in Facebook? here is my email address….”
WTF!

PS NO, I didn’t give it to him, I said I am not in FB
;-)

By: lizziemae

lizziemae — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:42:24 +0000

Greyed ‘super-health’ dude: Yeah, I dropped 20 pounds.
Less-greyed ladyfriend: Oh, wow…
Dude: Yep, 20 pounds, just by dropping wheat and dairy!
Lady: Well, you know, we are what we eat…

– borjo coffeeshop

By: Jesse Scaccia

Jesse Scaccia — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:30:56 +0000

Super gay check-out guy at Ghent Farm Fresh: Can I see your ID?
Me: Sure. I’m the tender age of thirty.
Check-out guy: Oh, I’m not looking for your age. I just wanted your address.

- Farm Fresh check-out as I try to buy some beer.

By: Manecdote

Manecdote — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:52:14 +0000

Blond, walking out of the “Y” after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.

-Overheard walking by the “Y” in Freemasons…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:35:20 +0000

Straight guy on cell: I need to change my hair. Four out of five girls with that bachelorette party last night thought I was gay.

Locker room at the Gold’s Gym.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:24:16 +0000

Chick: I’m not a whore, but I am not gonna miss out on a chance to fuck that bitch’s boyfriend. Plus, she owes me like 30 bucks.

-on Granby…

By: lizzelizzel

lizzelizzel — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:17:23 +0000

‘Grandma kicked me out. She said I’m 32 years old and I gotta get married.’

By: skyeplex

skyeplex — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:24:21 +0000

woman a: (discussing her boyfriend’s recent divorce settlement): so he gets the bed.

woman b: weirrrrd, what’re you gonna do with that?

woman a: i dunno, burn it (chuckles)…i dunno

woman b: do you think maybe one of your kids would want it?

woman a: yea, we talked about that

woman b: coz they won’t have to think about it, yknow…

woman a: yea, what went on in it…

(long awkward silence)

-2 blond ladies at the Rajput Lunch Buffet

By: Connie Hanna

Connie Hanna — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:19:36 +0000

Republican 40′s something man to new acquaintence: “it’s like in the projects, they just need to be told what to do and disciplined.”

Exit stage left.

By: Lavern Asjon

Lavern Asjon — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 04:19:45 +0000

Yes, it was real. Honestly, the funniest thing was her reaction. She wasn’t expecting him to slap her back, as was the rest of WalMart.

By: Jesse Scaccia

Jesse Scaccia — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:49:29 +0000

Was that for real? That’s funnyhorrible.

By: Lavern Asjon

Lavern Asjon — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:53:15 +0000

Man and Woman in Walmart: “Blah blah blahb”

Woman slaps man.
(wait 10 seconds)

Man back slaps woman.

Crowd: “Gasps”
Crowd: “Laughs”

Man continues to checkout
Woman holds her face in shock.

-Walmart (Military Hwy).

By: Lavern Asjon

Lavern Asjon — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:47:16 +0000

Boy says to friend: “You ever think being a serial killer is stressful. Always looking over your shoulder wondering when you’ll be caught. Then you have to fight those urges and all. I could never be a serial killer.”

(note: Killing people wouldn’t be the problem)
friends eyes all roll in succession.

- The Evil Place known as WalMart

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:42:05 +0000

Friend # 1:
I feel like going to the Neptune Festival…

Friend # 2:
Neptune? I thought it was Uranus!

Friend # 1:
No, but I’d would rather go to U…..!

Facebook

By: RandomMeme

RandomMeme — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:31:20 +0000

“VumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVum…………………..”

An overworked air conditioner at Fairgrounds

By: Jesse Scaccia

Jesse Scaccia — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:39:59 +0000

Middle-aged, plump, white woman in maroon pantsuit, into a cell phone:

“What?… You thought who was hot?… You’re 9 years old, you shouldn’t be thinking anyone is hot.”

– Farm Fresh