Seven Cities, Say What?!
Words Editors | Publishers
Monday, December 14th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
So “Seven Cities, Say What?!”
is the place where after overhearing something hilarious, ridiculous, poignant, or just plain odd in your travels aroundst the 757, you can share it, by commenting below.
Do your best to keep it in this format:
Person talking with light description: “Quote.” –Location overheard
[People are going to say we took this idea from OverheardInNewYork. But that's not true. We stole it from The New York Times' Metropolitan Diary (which was then bogarted by Overheard). We suggest you also take inspiration from DearOldLove and FMyLife.]
Here’s an example:
Boy to cute Asian girlfriend in car: “Did you just confuse an eyelash crimp with car keys?”
Asian girlfriend: (nods sadly)
– Tropical Smoothie parking lot
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Hannah and Jesse edit this site during the rare moments when Jesse isn't working on the boat he's going to sail around the world and Hannah's not screaming like The Banshee.
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Middle-aged, plump, white woman in maroon pantsuit, into a cell phone:
“What?… You thought who was hot?… You’re 9 years old, you shouldn’t be thinking anyone is hot.”
– Farm Fresh
“VumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVumVum…………………..”
An overworked air conditioner at Fairgrounds
Friend # 1:
I feel like going to the Neptune Festival…
Friend # 2:
Neptune? I thought it was Uranus!
Friend # 1:
No, but I’d would rather go to U…..!
Facebook
Boy says to friend: “You ever think being a serial killer is stressful. Always looking over your shoulder wondering when you’ll be caught. Then you have to fight those urges and all. I could never be a serial killer.”
(note: Killing people wouldn’t be the problem)
friends eyes all roll in succession.
- The Evil Place known as WalMart
Man and Woman in Walmart: “Blah blah blahb”
Woman slaps man.
(wait 10 seconds)
Man back slaps woman.
Crowd: “Gasps”
Crowd: “Laughs”
Man continues to checkout
Woman holds her face in shock.
-Walmart (Military Hwy).
Was that for real? That’s funnyhorrible.
Yes, it was real. Honestly, the funniest thing was her reaction. She wasn’t expecting him to slap her back, as was the rest of WalMart.
Republican 40’s something man to new acquaintence: “it’s like in the projects, they just need to be told what to do and disciplined.”
Exit stage left.
woman a: (discussing her boyfriend’s recent divorce settlement): so he gets the bed.
woman b: weirrrrd, what’re you gonna do with that?
woman a: i dunno, burn it (chuckles)…i dunno
woman b: do you think maybe one of your kids would want it?
woman a: yea, we talked about that
woman b: coz they won’t have to think about it, yknow…
woman a: yea, what went on in it…
(long awkward silence)
-2 blond ladies at the Rajput Lunch Buffet
‘Grandma kicked me out. She said I’m 32 years old and I gotta get married.’
Chick: I’m not a whore, but I am not gonna miss out on a chance to fuck that bitch’s boyfriend. Plus, she owes me like 30 bucks.
-on Granby…
AH hahahahaha. That is awesome.
Straight guy on cell: I need to change my hair. Four out of five girls with that bachelorette party last night thought I was gay.
Locker room at the Gold’s Gym.
Blond, walking out of the “Y” after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
-Overheard walking by the “Y” in Freemasons…
Super gay check-out guy at Ghent Farm Fresh: Can I see your ID?
Me: Sure. I’m the tender age of thirty.
Check-out guy: Oh, I’m not looking for your age. I just wanted your address.
- Farm Fresh check-out as I try to buy some beer.
Greyed ’super-health’ dude: Yeah, I dropped 20 pounds.
Less-greyed ladyfriend: Oh, wow…
Dude: Yep, 20 pounds, just by dropping wheat and dairy!
Lady: Well, you know, we are what we eat…
– borjo coffeeshop
Jesse! I know that super gay guy at the Farm Fresh! Last time I went he says to me: “y’all in Facebook? here is my email address….”
WTF!
PS NO, I didn’t give it to him, I said I am not in FB
[check out line is curvy & unorganized in Farm Fresh]
Woman: “Is everyone in line or are we all just hovering to see which one is shortest?” & I look at her, no one responded. She then says, “I guess no one here is a good Christian! This line is long.. WELCOME TO HELL!”
[I shoot her a dirty look; She moves onto scrutinizing her friend]
Woman: “Oh you shouldn’t get candy, get fruit. You shouldn’t have candy since you already have dressing on your salad. If you didn’t put dressing on your salad then it would be okay to get candy. My husband doesn’t care about his trans fats, you should care about your trans fats!”
I wanted to say something to her but I didn’t. I wanted to say, “Thanks for assuming everyone believes in God, asshole” but I didn’t want to come down to her level.
Oh, here’s another encounter. Sorry about the double post, I have a journal full of these things:
Mom: [finishes using bathroom & gets impatient that little boy is still busy]GABE! What are you doing? ARE YOU ALMOST DONE? [sigh]
Gabe: I’m pooping..
Mom: [huffs again] Well hurry up!
Gabe: My stomach hurts. I had a lot to eat soooo.. it’s stuck.
[Mom huffs & storms around the bathroom while I try to not laugh & fail]
Gabe: I’m pooping. My back muscles are tight & contracting.
Mom: Let’s goooo!
Gabe: I’m wiping.
Mom: Just forget about it & come out here right now.
Mom: What are you doing? Let me in there! [pushes on door]
Gabe: I locked it.
[I laugh loudly at this point but don't dare to come out for fear of getting a beating in the ghetto Ross bathroom]
Gross and funny. Tight back muscles? That’s some kind of poop!
Yea, he was very articulate for a little kid.
Woman to her husband: “Honey, I can’t find your sweet sausage.” -The Commissary
“….and if your her mom died, would you be like Ha Ha Ha?”
“…and a dark one for when you wet the bed…”
“…would you stop pushing the cart so damn fast, I can’t keep up!”
All in target, all on the same day.
Trashy looking guy: So, what are we buying here?
Really Trashy looking girlfriend: Lube.
Trashy looking guy: What the f…..???
Really Trashy looking girlfriend: I just figured I would be less embarassed if you came with me…
Hilltop Target entrance.
announcer “best in the seven cities”
me I want to stab whoever originally coined the term seven cities in regards to Hampton Roads in the eye.
Guy in line at Farm Fresh: I was going to post this as my facebook
status this morning. (Hand’s his iPhone to his friend).
Guy’s friend (reading from guy’s iPhone): “Why are all my
ex-girlfriends fat?” Are they, dude?
First Guy: Totally. All the girls I dated in high school and college
are like 300 pounds now. I look at their pictures on there and it’s
disgusting. I wrote that status, but then I couldn’t post it.
Guy’s friend (handing back the phone): That’s ok, I just did it for you.
Okay, I laughed.
LizzyLou, which one did you laugh at? All of them, or just a single one?
Anyway, I avoid that guy in FF. Something keeps me from going anywhere else though.