Two Post-Break-up Pitfalls: Drunk Texting and Cogan’s Pizza
Reinventing Norfolk
Words Jerome Spencer
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 at 7:01 am
Editor’s note: This piece is being republished as part of The Drive AltDaily Drive. It was originally published September 23, 2009.
Text messaging is horrible technology for us drunken romantics.
I’m not telling you anything new here; we all know the dangers of drunk-dialing, but there’s a new and unique type of remorse associated with the drunken text. With a phone call you’re going to find yourself regretting it the next morning and wondering what you left on the voicemail. But you’re only wondering and your own pride won’t let your imagination convince you it was that bad.
That’s not the case with a text.
A little feature on your phone called the “outbox” allows you the very real and very cringe-inducing experience of actually reading the pathetic mistake you made the night before. Which is exactly what I did.
I miss you.
You've got to deal with the delicious and the dour at Cogan's. (Photo from voteprime on Flickr)
That’s all I sent her, but those three words are much more desperate than they deserve to be. To my credit, the grammar was good and I took the extra 1.2 seconds to spell out “you” rather than go with the lazy “U.” But immaculate grammar can’t change the undeniable truth of what a stupid idea that little message really was.
As shameful as this slip of the fingers was, I’m not beating myself up over this one. As a matter of fact, I blame Cogan’s.
Cogan’s was never supposed to be a part of my ego-driven quest for a new me/new Norfolk. Actually, I hate Cogan’s. Yeah, I said it. I’m completely and indiscriminately hating on a highly regarded local watering hole. In fairness, I’m hating on my little quest too, but let’s address Cogan’s first. Sure, Cogans has good prices on beer and their pizza has some fans, but Cogan’s also seems to be staffed by an elite team of pretentious hipsters rivaled in douchebaggery only by their regular clientele. Plus, it’s always asses and elbows in that place. Can a man get some breathing room?
Okay, before I run off on this anti-Cogan’s diatribe, let’s take me take a moment to address what is supposedly the underlying theme of this column. I started this experiment to confront a town full of ghosts and memories associated with a girl. I started this with the best intentions and I’d still like you to join me as we reinvent this place, but we need to be clear on something: I’m over her. I know, that was fast, but that’s only because I realized she was fleeting. A mere distraction on my road to redemption, if you will. But don’t worry, I’m still going to share my heartbreak for your amusement, but I’m going to finally come to terms with what/who really has me pining.
Let’s call her The Girl. It’s quite fitting, really, as she’s the very girl that I followed to Virginia so many years ago. A girl who still breaks my heart on a daily basis in a very real and intense way. Out of respect for her privacy, I’ll need to be vague with the details – lets just use the eyes again (a literary cliché can’t hurt). I suppose “eyes too green to be brown, too deep to be green and too beautiful to be hazel” is cumbersome so from here on, actually, we’ll just call her “sun-eyed girl.” (Writers got to be specific.) Okay, everyone on board? Let’s get this train rolling.
If Cogan's had this sign it would be empty every night.
Now, I’m far from a Cogan’s’ regular, and I sincerely try to avoid it, yet I can never find a way to resist the siren song that is a call from George Booker. Despite thinking that Cogan’s is “teeming with inverted pretension,” Booker has a propensity to lure me there as if his very voice is catnip and I’m Mr. Whiskers. Anyway, I inevitably find myself crammed into Cogan’s to mingle with the tragically hip. At least on our most recent visit we were able to get a table, which saved us from the indignity of the bar.
The bartenders at Cogan’s don’t just overlook those who aren’t regulars, they actively ignore the rabble. On a previous table-free visit there the bartender continuously looked me dead in the eyes before passing me over for someone in skinnier jeans. He may as well have just reached over the bar to remove my balls so that he could squeeze them into the next guy’s scene-approved trousers. Thanks, asshole, for making me feel like less of a man when all I wanted was a beer. Oh, and listen carefully, dear readers: Be prepared to get the gas face should you dare to order anything other than Pabst at that place.
But on our more recent visit we had a table and while our waiter wasn’t capable of smiling he was able the keep the pitchers full. I was getting pretty claustrophobic, but the conversation was good when it wasn’t being drowned out by brash punk rock at an obscene volume (every third song). They must have spiked my beer with Haterade because I was not having a good time. I did enjoy watching our very own Jesse Scaccia’s attempt to order two slices of pizza, though.
Jesse: Can I get two slices of pizza?
Waiter: So you just want one slice?
Jesse: No. Two.
Waiter: Well, one slice is two slices here.
Jesse: Then I guess I want one slice.
Waiter: So you don’t want two slices?
Jesse: What do I say to get two slices on a plate? That’s what I want.
Who’s on first comedy aside, beer makes me pee so I got in line for the bathroom plastered with fliers for shows that have never been in Cogan’s vicinity and waited. And waited.
That’s when I saw the Megatouch.
Two people we can VERY safely assume are saner than Jerome and his ex playing Megatouch.
I’m going to assume that the type of person reading a column by me has been to enough bars to be familiar with a Megatouch. Just in case I’m wrong, a Megatouch is touch-screen computer with games on it strategically placed in bars for people who need something to do with the hand that is not holding a drink. My sun-eyed girl loves Megatouch. Her game is Photohunt, but she prefers the nude girl version to the family-friendly one. I used to love watching her play Photohunt. I’d joke about the Jennie Garth doppelganger (anyone who’s played this knows exactly which model I’m talking about) and giggle at the intense look on my sun-eyed girl’s freckled face right before she lit up and she started tapping the differences between the two photos. “It’s always the flowers,” she’d tell me proudly. Sometimes it was the nipples. Occasionally I’d spot something and tap the screen. Usually when it was the nipples. “Good job, baby!” she’s gush and kiss me as if my one find saved the Megatouch universe more so than the hundreds she’d spotted. She always made me feel like the only person in the room. I suppose I could’ve played Megatouch without her, but I’m not very good and I’d hate to waste the dollars. Besides, it’s sort of “our thing.”
All of this is to say I think I have good reason to blame Cogan’s for my ill-fated drunk text. It was business as usual there which means I left feeling invisible, insignificant and emasculated. But Megatouch reminded me that I didn’t always have these insecurities. Once upon a time I had someone who made me feel like the most important person on the planet. But I blew it and I don’t have her anymore. All I have is a stomach ache from drinking shitty-ass Pabst and a text message in my outbox.
I miss you.
More in the New Adventures of Old Jerome series:
Reinventing Norfolk: The Beginning of the Getting-Over-Her Process: Velvet
Reinventing Norfolk: T West
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ABOUT THE WRITER
Jerome Spencer was not born, but certainly raised in Nashville, TN. He doesn’t have a Southern accent, but wishes he did. He resides in Norfolk because that’s where his beautiful daughter is. By day Jerome wears a tie and vanishes into a sea of beige cubicles and khaki pants. Writing is what he likes to do in his free time. He wrote about music and had a weekly column for Portfolio Weekly, but defected to AltDaily before that ship went down. He still mostly writes about music. Jerome thinks life would be simpler if we all spent less time getting lost in our own perspectives and writing our own internet bios (in third-person, no less) and spent more time wholly sharing experiences with one another.
Other posts by Jerome Spencer.
Other posts by Jerome Spencer.
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You’re not a lone, I hate Cogans. I haven’t set foot in the there for 3 years. GO ME!
Cogan’s is a great place. I have not found any of the staff to be pretentious, and the crowds are there, perhaps, because it is a great place to go?
Fantastic pizza, more bear than you could shake a gross of pitchers at, and it boasts a patio that is beat by no other patio in Norfolk.
If you are a pizza fan, their lunch buffet during the week is great and a bargain at that.
No, I am only a guest; I do not work there. My working there would be akin to putting an alcoholic to wrk at an ABC store.
Even though I agree with Jerome that the staff at Cogan’s has a way of treating you like an orphan-dummy, I still love it. Great pizza, beer, and a real independent feel.
Yeah, Cogan’s is awful! I’d so much rather hang out at a faceless, crappy commercially-produced restaurant, like Panera!! That place is awesome!!!. I love beige!!!! And I hate tattoos!!!!! Boooohoooo!!!!!! (Wow, Jerome, your bitterness just smeared one of my favorite places in Norfolk. It’s the only place I can go here where I can squint my eyes and imagine that I’m back in the East Village, just for a second. Why hate on one of the few places in Norfolk that sort of has a personality?)
So just to be clear, Cogans didn’t always have that feel. Back in the day and probably way back even farther than I can remember, cogan’s was a anything goes where only cans and bottles were served. The bathrooms were nothing that at my age now would ever consider using. the floors were make sift and sometimes a broken bar stool could be found for you to sit on. However, some of the best music took place there and to this day still think THE best music in the world. I only have fond memories of the old cogans where we all gathered as friends and if you just so happen to pass out under neath a car and don’t remember shit, you knew you were just fine. No matter what you looked like what scene you were from it was all good! Some where in the last 9 years it has taken the role of another sort. I would have to agree with Jerome putting myself in a guys position. I am not a man so I personally have never had a problem. I do know that the service does suck the very few times I wind up in there for the drunk slice of pizza that takes thirty mins to bring to you. The pizza is delicious, though it’s know chesapeake pizza for sure.
As far as your heart break goes, the first two stories of this series certainly didn’t mention anything of this new character. It makes you wonder after the storm…”was the grass really greener on the other side” the answer is usually no, but to all persons accountability we have to find out for ourselves. My advice to you, sometimes change is what you need. Embrace you sadness and change the way you think and act on a whole nother level and I guarantee love will return to you in a much different way. Being true to yourself and how you would like others to treat you will bring you many rewards and surprises. accountability is key. I think admitting your heart is the first step to your feelings.
Suggestion: Why not do a piece on CRUISERZZZZZZ! Now thats a place where everyone is loved the same!
To B.C, one of the few places in Norfolk? No, by far the one of the only few places that would cater to someone that wants to imagine being anywhere other than Norfolk. Only the greatest little city ever. Just joking it’s a great city though and I love it. Maybe you should venture out more and disover some hidden treasures of norfolk, because Cogans certainly is not the only place. And who the hell puts Cogans and Panera under the same comparison. Yea if I want a bagel, but not if I am looking for goodtimes and beer. Nice try though
i strongly disagree. i almost fell into a diatribe of my own berating you for allowing your feeble insecurities to reflect on the quality of a norfolk Landmark. a landmark that has represented the independent music movement since well before you made the move here with your now defunct girl friend. you wouldn’t go into line-dancing bar and say i hate cowboy hats or as a vegan go to the great-steak complaining that they have nothing for you to eat. stop blaming everything else for your bad decisions. honestly, i love cogan’s with it smoky cramp swagger, brash music, and surly tattoo ridden staff… it’s one of the only restaurants that reminds me that life has not been completely taken over by a well groomed, uniformed, little worker, toting a corporate smile and fake sincerity… so why dont you put your tail between your walmart jeans and whimper back to your nearest T.G.I.F.
Great comment, Andy.
Rereading Jerome’s post a Yogi Berra line comes to mind: “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”
This is like stalking your poor ex through sad sack blog posts, except through a site that people actually go to for news.
I really hope she isn’t too bothered your ‘Reinventing Norfolk’ series.
I think that Jerome has proven his point about the atmoshere and enviorment of “too cool for school attitudes” just by comments like Andy’s and Mr.wilson’s. I have never been to Cogans, coming from a TRUE city recently, I would think that the kinds of people that hang there would be acting like the author described. Especially the low blow on the jeans..clearly your jeans are skinny enough to get quick service. thank you altdaily for giving me insight to the places that are truley open minded and the places that are not.
Geez…If you don’t like a place don’t go there and if you don’t like a girl don’t text her. There are plenty of places in our Seven Cities that don’t appeal to a “true” anything. We at Cogans are not trying to exclude anyone, we are small just like most place in Ghent. Get over it or get out!
Cogans is nowhere near what it used to be. I used to go to the shows in the late 90s/early 00s. It’s not a fucking landmark for music anymore. It’s two fat fucking rednecks cashing in on punk rock kids.
bah. cogan’s gets the gas face. it’s pretty beloved by a lot of people i know and the price of a pbr pitcher is a good counterbalance to the general contempt that exudes from it. but every passionate endorsement of cogan’s i’ve heard hasn’t meshed with my actual experiences there. i can say confidently, even as a perpetually broke and often slightly dirty citizen, that i prefer many of the places in ghent that people bitch about as trendy douchebag spots. in cogan’s i’m always struck by the strangely queasy feeling that it is checkered with people trying to be seen not trying to be seen. i second the comment above recommending cruzer’s as an alternative. it’s like the ghent inn reincarnated as a filipino karaoke dive.
I think adele is right. If you dont like it then dont come. I enjoy cogan’s and have for a very long time. I have seen the staff change more then a couple of times. I still love it. If you cant enjoy it,then get over the fact that some people are having a good time and you are not. Employed at Cogan’s are some of my best friend’s and i say this just as they would to GO FUCK YOURSELF JEROME!!!!
Hey Jerome ,
I hear Outback Steakhouse calling your name , you’d probably want to get back now.
PS… Plus have have great deals on O’doul’s.
“Thanks, asshole, for making me feel like less of a man when all I wanted was a beer. ”
—–Sounds like a personal problem to me. Oh, and your balls haven’t dropped down yet, so when they do skip on down to the Garage , I’m sure someone will take of “your balls”.
My god where to begin…the lights are always on full blast even at 12am, one of the worst sound systems second to cantina, Jill is the shit and always will be one of the top bartenders in the area, pizza is good and bad but always a surprise with no consistency, the owners are (now pay close attention) CLUELESS! And last to the person claiming, ” I’m back in the East Village, just for a second.”, have you ever been to …i dunno NY at all. Bar owners need to step up and care about their buisness and reinvest into their buisness instead of just letting it ride.
Go visit ATL lil 5, williamsburg NYC, DC adams morgan, even as clos as RVA.
Yikes, this is getting a little brutal.
I work at Cogans, and I know a lot of people who don’t like Cogans. That is cool, everyone has their own opinion.
I think that the fact you went out of your way to make it seem like such a horrible place was a little silly, and that you related it to you getting drunk and texting your ex was even funnier. You know how many bars around here have those machines? A few.
If the bartender is who I am thinking it is, I can’t see him doing that intentionally and he hates PBR. Everyone that said anything about the staff hasn’t been in in a while, we have a great staff and everyone is really nice. Maybe if they weren’t they were having a bad day, waiting tables isn’t as easy as it seems.
I agree Cruizers is awesome. Taphouse, Bardo, AW Shucks, Colley Cantina are all cool too. If you don’t like Cogans don’t go, I don’t go to the bars I don’t like. But don’t dissuade people who haven’t been from going. That is just mean.
To the people who have had a bad experience, I am sorry. To the people who love it, I am happy. Ghent is a small community, all the bars have regulars and most the regulars do know eachother. That is what happens. We aren’t trying to push away new customers. You could be an awesome person, who would know if I never met you.
I hope this calms things down a bit.
You know reading the last couple comments make my stomach turn. I think that the imaturity of the “cogans fan club” Has totally without doubt proven jerome’s point. Calling him names and joking about beer preference or the pain he has shared for people to read should not be attacked. Everyone is entitled to their thoughts. Thats what Journalism is. Yes he bashed Cogans, but look at half the responses. I don’t think employees were having a bad day everytime. I think that they are prude. Comments above and the Employee comments prove the point. COGANS GROW UP!!!!!!It’s your staff that ultimatly made this faul up. Treat all people the same and business will spread. I myself have waited tables and bartended. IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR JOB, QUIT SO THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN’T HAVE TO SEE YOU MISERABLE FACES. Disgusted. And ALTDAILY, you should have more mature readers.
Wow i was just trying to be nice, and you are an asshole JC.
Well first off i think it is a little ridiculous to blame anyone but yourself, for a text message that you sent. had you been drunk at Red Dog, would Red Dog be to blame? or if you were drunk at home, is your house to blame then?
Secondly, if the male bartender is who i think it is, you have read him completely wrong. my guess is that it was Pint Night, where he has 20 people trying to get his attention at once as well as the servers beers which are coming in constantly.
And i think the part about the slices. you guys were probably already in a bad mood, which is what seems to have drug the ‘slice’ conversation on, almost making it seem as if the server wasn’t making any sense.
And finally,. The Megatouch. seriously? i cant think of many bars that dont have those available. it wasnt put there to make you get upset about the past, it was put there for entertainment.
so all in all, YOU sent the drunk text, and i feel you felt someone needed to be blamed, so Cogans got the cold shoulder of your rant.
I love Cogans. I love working there. I went there for a while before i even worked there and have always enjoyed it. We have the best staff right now. Come back and try again. You wont be dissapointed.
-Cogans server
WOW ASSHOLE??? Mature. I guess my point is proven here too. I mean really thats how you defend your work, calling people that have had personal situations at cogans assholes. This is not just jerome spencers idea of cogans, but alot of people’s idea of Cogans. The Cogan’s piece was not even the focus. Megatouch? Ofcourse there is Megatouch everywhere. I think he was saying that that was the only thing that comforted him.. If this is the way your staff reacts, then I totally believe aswell I am sure alot others, that your staff is clearly the problem and You guys don’t want to hear it. I am very embarrassed for you Cogans. you should be walking away with your balls. I am sorry that These are the people that we are supposed to believe were in a “bad mood”?
Wow! This one really stirred some feelings…about Cogans at least! I have never found the staff alof or rude… and although I still crave for my New York pizza two years after moving here, I find theirs pretty damn good. Jerome, you are too much of a romantic man, don’t blame other circumstances….But, your day will come, promise. And, for the record Jesse; on Friday after party next door I stopped at Cogans and bought 2 slices to go, no questions asked!
Things got a little toasty up in here, didn’t they?
This might be deserving of its own blog or feature at this point, but I feel like a couple things need to be clarified (and for those of you that aren’t regular readers, I’m the site’s co-editor).
To speak for Jerome, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t actually blame Cogan’s for his drunk text. He’s using ‘blame’ in the loose causality sense, like if you stub your toe on a wheelbarrow just as your girlfriend asks you something and you snap at her; it’s not the wheelbarrow’s fault, but you kind of blame it anyway. I think some of you took that a bit too literally.
The big thing I want to make clear is that we actually love Cogan’s. It is independent. It is original. It is part of the personality and soul of Ghent. While I agree that the staff does lean toward the pretentious, a little bit of swagger is a good thing. It means people have pride in their bar, in their hood, in who they are. There is far too little swagger in this area as it is.
Wow, so because one pathetic lonely bastard decides he wants to go drink his life away and sends a drunk text to a girl who clearly doesn’t want to be with him, for obvious reasons, Cogans is a shithole? I have been going to Cogans for a while and am friends with a good part of the staff that I didn’t even know before going there the first time. There’s only one guy bartender so we all know who you’re talking about and he works his ass off and on Wednesday night actually manages to sing karaoke extremely well and do his job at the same time. So depending on the night you go in there, if you don’t want it to be busy, don’t go on Tuesday through Thursday, because those are busy nights. One more thing, before you try to start bashing on places via article online try proof reading article because my 5 year old cousin could have done a better job on the article that yourself.
I’m not sure I understand the purpose of this article as part of this website. Isn’t it supposed to be a spotlight for things to do, places to go? Not a forum for a jaded (and obviously insecure) author to cry in his beer (god forbid a PBR) and bash everything and everyone in their path. I am new to the area and check this website often for helpful insights and reviews of restaurants, etc. It doesn’t have to be a cheerleader mentality, because there are such things as negative reviews, but this anti-Cogan’s diatribe doesn’t belong here. I actually found Cogan’s to be one of the more welcoming spots in Norfolk for newbies. I hope not to see any more “articles” by this author in the future on this site. Stick to the Megatouch.
You should try proof reading too, ryan.
“Everyone is entitled to their thoughts.”
Yes.
“Thats what Journalism is”
No.
A journalist is suppose to convey factual information and present both sides of an argument. What is written above is opinion, which may or may not include bits of fact.
Journalists can be opinion writers. Opinion/editorial writers can be journalists. However, if you read something that isn’t at least an attempt to be fair and balanced, than it is not journalism… it’s an opinion piece.
anon:
This is clearly not reportage/straight journalism. It is one person’s opinion.
Fred Jackson:
On one hand I hear you. If you’ve never been to Cogan’s this piece probably gives a far too one-sided opinion. Even if somebody hates it there, I think they’d still recommend it, if that makes any sense. On the other hand criticism like this does hold an important place, as you recognized. Maybe the people there will try a little harder to be nicer to squares like Jerome after this, and they wouldn’t have known to try harder unless he said something.
In the end, though, I hear your point. I didn’t think people would take the Cogan’s bashing this seriously. The last thing we want to do is turn people off from a thriving independent business like Cogan’s.
last time i ate cogans pizza it was just terribly salty and just all around bad. you HAVE to be drunk to enjoy it. i think every one will be better off with SBARROS
i think Jerome is a little JEALOUS that he doesn’t fit in with the crew at Cogans-i think he secretly wants to be a part of this “hipster” lifestyle. I think the staff pick up on HIS pretentious attitude the minute he walks in the door and THAT’s why they give him attitude…wait did i just say “when he walks in the door”? hmmm if you hate the place STOP GOING-there are plenty of lame bars in norfolk that play shitty music and have a bunch of 18 year olds in mini skirts workin, im sure they’d LOVE to take your money-try red dogs on colley- maybe you’ll find more people like you there-
I think it’s hilarious how all of these “Hipsters” take these things so seriously. I mean what are you guys defending? It’s an article not meant to be taken so literal. I mean come on..attacking someone personaly that know one really knows is silly. Sterotyping or profiling what Jerome looks like or what music he listens to is exactly what I think the reason for “bashing”cogans was about. another point is, What do the type of beer you drink, Red dogs, outback steakhouse, and 18 yr olds in mini skirts have to do with one persons miserable expeirence anyway? Just because you “think” he wants in your scene makes him not as worthy of good service. Not good business on Cogan’s part also to alow the Cogan’s Servers to make such unprofessional comments. I am sure that tactic is very looked down upon in the real business world. All of these Immature attacks are only feeding the negative press that Cogan’s is getting. Let it be and appreciate it for what it is….One person’s expierence. Let this DIE>
as a matter of fact im not part of that scene-its an article that’s public and he’s openly bashing the place and the people that work there-don’t dish it out if you can’t take it…he’s talking shit and making assumptions about the people that work there-we have no idea why the bartendar overlooked him-maybe the dude next to him at the bar had a $50 bill in his hand and looked ready to spend it-maybe ol jerome wasn’t assertive enough-but he’s making assumptions that everyone there thinks a certain way or that because he’s not tattooed up, he didn’t get service-so i’m allowed to assume what ever the hell i want about ol jerome as long he wants to assume he knows what the rest of the world is thinking…
u said its not an article to be taken literally?? is it in the comics section and i missed something? i would hope jerome wasn’t writing articles on things he didn’t take “seriously”…what would be the point…
you said to appreciate his writing for what it is…how can you appreciate someone’s whining about a place they obviously KEEP going to…if the dude hates it so much he should stop going-or better yet keep being a sucker and let cogans take all the money they can from his lame ass-
How does someone try to bash and leave it anonymous. How bout this? FUCK YOU JEROME
Isn’t human nature a funny thing? I mean, I’ve been consistently writing in this town for 5 years and nobody says shit until I say something negative. Hook, line and sinker. Look, I meant what I said (except the tatoo thing – Jesse writes the taglines) and personal attacks on my character by people who don’t know me certainly aren’t going to sway my opinion. I gave Cogan’s more than one chance and they consistenly treated me like a lesser life form. So, yeah, I hold a little contempt for the atmosphere. If you like it there than keep hanging out there. I promise I won’t stop you. I wrote it, I meant it and I still do. See, now I’ve comitted an offense against Cogan’s that warrants how they’ve treated me and many others all along. So how about we make it retroactive and we can call it even? Also, thank you all for all the comments and website hits. Good to know people are checking us out.
whats the difference between a hipster and a wannabe hipster? im not sure which one i am. hey man everyone has their own opinion…red dog is not my scene so i just dont go there. if cogans was such a terrible place it would not still be around right? some people like it, to each his own. i was unaware that decorations in a bar had to be directly related to the location of said bar. there are no gorillas near cogans either should they take down all pictures or paintings of those? yeah cogans used to have shows and now it doesnt. get over it. its different owners now. my OPINION to the author of this article is cogans is not your scene. if you dont like the cusomes, staff or atmosphere then try granby street or just go somewhere else. maybe the pretentious hipster staff doesnt care for you either…maybe, and just maybe the fact that you hate the place showed and you were rude, and someone was rude right back and you and your big fat ego didnt like that. no wonder this girl isnt with you anymore, you seem like a turd.
What? I can’t believe your server had the audicity to try to explain the pizza slices to you!!! What a jerk! You definatley have the right to judge & sterotype everyone that works there now!
Jesse:
I was responding to what JC wrote in the comment prior to mine: “Everyone is entitled to their thoughts. Thats what Journalism is”
So, not everyone understands that this “is clearly not reportage/straight journalism. It is one person’s opinion.”
Thanks, by the way, to you and Hannah for contributing so greatly to our local discussion and media. It’s great stuff!
Wow.
Well it looks like I’m a little late to the party, despite being mentioned not-quite-but-might-as-well-have-been by name. I’m the only male bartender at Cogan’s and I feel compelled to set some records straight. Hi, I’m Drew, pleased to make your cyber-acquaintance, everyone.
I’ve learned (unfortunately) numerous valuable lessons via rampant and thoughtless posting on the interwebs in college. After the first show I ever booked, which was a tremendous success by all accounts, I trashed the headlining band the Rocking Horse Winner because I disagreed with how Radford’s college newspaper had described my band, who had played previous to tRHW. I did this through the comments section of the newspaper’s online incarnation. The Rocking Horse Winner read my post, STILL said nice things about me and my band, and I was fed an incredibly large piece of humble pie (you can google it if you don’t believe me). It’s really really easy to get into a pissing match online, turning potentially thoughtful and intriguing dialogue into bitter, credibility-scuttling drivel. And no one wins. So I’m not going to do it.
What I will do is tell you, Jerome, that I am sorry for the impression you seem to have gotten from me. I know who you are, I’ve respected your thoughts on music and entertainment for a long time, and I remember when you came in. I don’t recall this happening in this way at all, nor would I ever do such a thing intentionally. Anyone who knows me (many of whom have stood up for me in my stead, albeit at times a bit harshly) would testify to the dedication I have to my job and doing it the best I possibly can. More importantly, I believe they would say that I love my customers, strangers and regulars alike. That most of my best friends were first customers, that they wear all sorts of kinds of jeans, and that they are of all ages and from all walks. I know they would testify to my ridiculous love of all things beer (rivaled only by my love for music and for my family), that I want everyone to love beer like I do (but at their own speed), that I would NEVER give a gas face if someone didn’t order PBR (in fact, that I always encourage people to try something new whenever possible, in all aspects of life). It’s important that you know that I love my job and I love beer and I love making people feel good about themselves. I really don’t even feel like I have to “defend” myself because I feel my reputation is so entirely opposite of this microcosm of an experience you wrote about that it’s silly. I never claimed to be perfect and god knows that I screw things up with regularity (it’s part of that pesky human thing). But I do think it’s important that you know that whatever you feel went down, that’s not how it was, is, or ever will be with me. Ok?
So you hate Cogan’s. Ok. It’s fair and completely okay to state a preference. Some of my best friends hate Cogan’s, a place I’ve worked for 5 and 1/2 years and on which I depend to support myself and my family. When it’s coming out like it should, the pizza is simply unrivaled. We got our ovens re-calibrated three weeks ago. Finally, pies are cooking in half the time as before, coming out crispy on the bottom yet moist in the center. But sometimes we fuck up. And I’d like to think it’s usually handled in a professional manner, but I know sometimes it’s not. And our pizza slice policy is confusing, especially once we started slicing the “slice” into two slices. People were far less confused when it was just one big slice. And we make it to order, so sometimes it comes out in 5 minutes and sometimes we have to make an entire pie for one slice and it takes 30 minutes. There are many things to tinker with and improve, but you’re kidding yourself if you think the place hasn’t gotten better over time, especially over the last few years. Many people really care about working there, believe it or not.
Honestly, I’d be completely okay with not having PBR at all, but that act in itself would exclude a slice of people, the very thing you accuse us/me of doing. That’s kind of the point of Cogan’s…to appeal to more than just a slice of life…to NOT exclude anyone from enjoying it. And maybe that’s why you hate it. Or maybe your brain sparked an idea a few days ago, that you should write an opinion piece on Cogan’s and just let it all hang out, all that frustration and denial that’s been building up for who knows how long. But opinion pieces tend to suck if you don’t have an agressive, polarizing point of view so the little molehills became mountains, perpendicular trains of thought started to seem more parallel, and you ended up somewhere that has stirred up a lot of page views and vehemence from all parties. But for what? Do you feel better now? Does everything always have to boil down to hate and negativity? Am I ever going to bash a small, independent company in my community with petty words and slander? No, I will not. I like and dislike things, just as you do. But I will not do that, my friend. I respect your opinion and your right to express it in whatever form you deem worthy. Mostly, I hope you walk up to me the next time and extend your hand, that I might shake it, and that we may move on from this in a direction of progress and newness.
Godspeed.
I put up my final response in a blog:
Cogan’s Pizza vs. Jerome Must End!
http://www.24sevencities.com/blogs/food-blogs/cogans-vs-jerome-must-end.html
Or just go to the homepage.
My experience with Cogans- and it was recently- the waitstaff was so rude at first one might think I was trying to forceably integrate a lunch counter or something. I was getting NO service for quite a while- I was a bit incredulous. At some point you’d think the “turn over tables” instinct kicks in. The bartender would not meet my eyes- much less come to the counter when I was standing there. I never had to work so hard to give an establishment my business – I wont be going back. It was weird. And mean doesnt make a place cool. It’s just mean.
Apart from the whole Cogans argument (I really have no personal opinion on the place), “mingle with the tragically hip” is one of my favorite lines. It usually ends up on my Twitter feed when I’m hanging out at the Boot. Not in a bad way, mind you, I think the Boot is great, but in a more observational way. What I’m trying to say is, I get what you’re saying here. ^_^
oh fun how did i miss all of this gossip! i used to work at cogans and whatever its all good there and they are all family, just like any restaraunt…( i like to think of myself as a distant cousin now :) ) so yea its gonna upset some people when u talk about their family. on the drunk text thing…don’t we all wish there was a prevention plan provided on our phone to stop us from doing that. but such is life and we are supposed to learn from our mistakes. Yes we all have an opinion ..duh..but i would like to point out that the only people who didn’t actually attack anyone stereotypically or well just attack people firsthand were the people that work there. what does that say…and to the people who are THAT upset about the service ooooook we got it now focus that anger on things that truly matter in the world besides PBR and Slices of pizza. There are places in the world that would love to come into a bar and have a slice of pizza even if it takes 30 minutes. we should all be very lucky that we have the oppurtunity to pick and choose where we would like to spend our weekends. Life is to short to worry about x boy/girlfriends, bad service, “scenes”, and crappy bathrooms ( i will definitly second that one…i cleaned them…why the guys could NEVER aim i don’t know…)
@drewciferous Well handled. It’s too bad such potentially wonderful writing has to be so whiny. I am sure you, Jerome, are a great guy. I know some of your friends to be good people and, therefore, you are guilty of such by association, but these columns are terribly whiny. These may be great for a personal blog but not so much for AltDaily.
Ahmen Drew,
Cogan’s is my Cheers… And while I don’t fancy myself as one of the aforementioned hipster population that Jerome seems to think frequent this establishment and make up its barstaff, I would like to remind AltDaily that A LOT of its readers have been known to grab a slice of spicy cheese and a PBR there.
I do commend the writer on the use of the word “douchebaggery” though, and have to say the whole “one-slice-is-actually-two-slices” thing, while quite the value, is a bit confusing.
I’ve been guilty of sending quite a few volleys of texts I wish I could take back… But I never blamed my favorite (or least favorite) bar.
I blamed my thumbs.
Way late to this discussion.
So, in complete agreement with Jarrett, I too consider Cogan’s to be my “Cheers.” My friends and I have always considered it our default hangout. We are the regulars. I’ve talked about it so much that even my dad wanted to go there to see what it was all about. So we went on a Wednesday afternoon (this had to be at least a year ago), got a table, and then received no attention. We actually got up and left for the Tap House. But I still went back to Cogan’s. I hate that it’s associated with “hipsters.” I’ve been going to Cogan’s for at least a decade. That doesn’t make me better than anyone, I’m just pointing out that my presence there (along with all, well, most of my friends) has nothing to do with it being a haven of skinny jeans and PBR. I can almost promise I’m the skinniest guy in there and, unfortunately, sometimes I can’t afford to drink much other than PBR (especially since all that “riff-raff” drove up the price). I don’t do it because it’s “hip.” I’m not pretentious. I do love walking in there though and, based upon my appearance, have all the other random people in the place make comments about me. My favorite of these have been “hipster faggot,” “douchebag in girl’s jeans,” and just this past Saturday “fucking homo.” So there are a lot of wonderfully well-mannered patrons that frequent the place. Why do I keep going back? Because of bartenders like Drew and Jill; because they still have, in my opinion, the best pizza in the Seven Cities; because they have 33 beers on tap (everyone quit drinking the Legend Octoberfest and leave some for me!); because it is such a good mix of people, good and sometimes bad.
So I’ve had my poor experiences, but I have had many many more that were outstanding. Hopefully Jerome will give it another shot too. If I see you there, Jerome, I’ll buy you a PBR ha ha.
ALT DAILY is supposed to report news…..lol….good job on reporting something that everyones hates , but cant resist.
The pizza used to be an OK reason for going to Cogan’s…but now their “one” slice is pretty much the same as having two slices of Red Baron pizza. I used to really love Cogan’s, but now I almost always regret the decision to go there.
Even though this is an old discussion, I have to say: I hate Cogan’s too. It has the worst pizza, the acoustics are terrible, and the staff act as if you are interrupting their day off. We tried it three times, just to be sure it wasn’t a fluke. I’ll go if the rest in our party insist, but I’d much rather go anywhere else in Ghent.