Once you’ve reached adulthood, Halloween has a way of losing its innocence, doesn’t it?

And their parents wistfully count away the days until Halloween becomes an excuse for drinking and promiscuous sex for their children. The joys of parenting!

When you’re a kid you head out in search of treats. At some point growing up you’re over the candy, and Halloween becomes a night to get drunk and look for some tricks. ; )

But aside from the partying and trying to hook up with the girl dressed like a slutty fill-in-the-blank, Halloween for adults holds a more twisted thrill: seeking out the most f’ed up costume of the year. Without further ado, here are some of our predictions for the costumes this year that will make you say, Oh, that’s just wrong.

1. Billy Mays in heaven selling what we know he was buying on earth for years: cocaine.

2. Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

3. Michael Jackson in heaven has sooo many possibilities. Maybe he finally gets his chance to molest the really young kids: aborted fetuses.

4. Zombie Anne Frank (credit: Amber Tanenholz)

5. If you’re two black girls you can dress up crazy slutty and zoned out and with a bunch of rusty needles in your purses. When people ask you who you are just say you’re Sasha and Malia in ten years.

6. Michael Vick dressed like a cowboy with a pitbull dressed like a cowboy, engaged in a sex act with each other. When people ask just say, “Love’s crazy.”

7. Go to urbandictionary.com and look up Hot Carl and find a way to be that. You’ll win.

8. If you’re a big dude with a husky voice you can be Bea Arthur (just dress as yourself). Did you know she’s dead? So is Socks The Cat. Work that in too.

9. If you can find a way to dress up like the rope that David Carradine self-affixiated himself to death with, that’d be good. It should probably be silky with an Oriental vibe.

10. If you’re a bad dad, or kind of a perv, just be Jon Gosselin. Hey, at least you’ll have an excuse for a night.

11. Buy a snuggie and go as Jesus (credit: Sara Houston’s 10-year-old son)

I’m sure if we work together as a community we can come up with some even more messed up ones. Add your ideas to the comments section.