So you’re that guy.

The guy who suddenly realizes, Shit, it’s Valentine’s Day and I got nuthin. We can commiserate with you. Holidays have a way of sneaking up on us all. Even if you had intended to pick something up much earlier, shopping for someone you love is a daunting task.

But now here we are. Your lady’s been hinting at how proud she is of the present she got you, and how exciting the gift exchange on Sunday is going to be. She says sweetly that she’ll love whatever you get her, that it’s the thought that counts. But let’s be real here: she wants something good. Something that she can brag about to her friends, that suits her tastes, and that tells her you love her.

So let me help you make that happen.

The first thing you need to remember is to be creative. When they say it’s the thought that counts, they mean get something that you put a little thought into. Really think about what she’s into. No suggestion I could make will top a gift that taps right into her personality.

The second thing you need to remember is that there’s a reason why certain gifts are cliches: they’re tried and true. Go ahead and do the flowers and chocolates and teddy bears–but find a way to make it special. For instance, take her to a field of wildflowers instead. Hand-dip her a box of chocolate-covered cherries and strawberries. Get her a custom-made teddy bear from Build-a-Bear with your name on it, and tell her she can hug him whenever you’re not there, and it’ll be like you are.

Which leads me to the third important thing for you to remember: Handmade is as good, if not better than store-bought. Even if you suck at making things, it’s, you know, the thought that counts. And actually, it’s pretty endearing to be cooked a homemade meal with a little too much salt in the sauce and a dessert that deflated upon service. (If your date scoffs, at least you’ll know then that she’s kind of a bitch; but I’ll save that for an Advice a Toi.) So for a few of my suggestions, I’ll include a DIY option, which of course will help out the brothers on a budget.

1 | Music.

• Go old school and make her a mixtape. If you’re tech-savvy and can figure out the applications to do this, throw in a track of you singing along to you guys’ song, or maybe Shania Twain, something awesome like that.
• Write her an original song. Extra points if you serenade her outside her window.
• If she’s got a record player, definitely look into some rare vinyl at Skinnie’s.

2 | Sweets.

• Just Cupcakes. Sweet and sexy and delicious.
• As Pedro from Napolean Dynamite said, “Build her a cake, or something.” Cookies, brownies, you name it, most girls like it.
• Norfolk Festevents is having Desserts at the Waterside on Saturday from 3 to 7.

3 | Dinner and champagne.

Pick up a special bottle of bubbly at Angry Adam’s, cook her dinner and then serve it on a picnic blanket in the living room. Surround the setup with flowers. Voila. Romance. (And if things get steamy, you’re already on a blanket on the floor).

4 | Massage.

• Leave it to the professionals. Get a gift certificate from The Space Above, where she could also try out Bliss Yoga and connect with her inner goddess.
• Or DIY. Design and print up a bunch of little coupons to be redeemed for massages of different types and lengths of time, administered by you. Throw in a couple for foot rubs, a sensual massage, and at least one hour-long full body rubdown.

5 | A love letter.

A well-written love letter is a forever thing. It costs nothing, but it’s one of the hardest gifts to give, because if it rings false or trite, it’s worthless. Tongue-tied? Borrow some poetry from one of the masters; Pablo Neruda, John Keats, Smokey Robinson. Be succinct and honest and vulnerable and sweet.

6 | A night off.

No offense, but sometimes your sweetheart just needs some time without you to appreciate you. Give her a pampered night off. Clean the entire house. Get some lavender bubble bath, rose petals and scented candles and draw her a luxurious bath. (It’s ok to hint that you wouldn’t mind joining her to get things dirty first.) Have something delicious waiting for her, along with full control of the remote.

7 | A night in.

Pick up some rom-coms; movies you would never watch by yourself, but that you know she loves. Sleepless in Seattle is of course the ultimate choice. But Eternal Sunshine would be great. And Bright Star recently came in to Naro Video, where tons of old classics are also available. Make some kettle corn, order some Chinese and just cuddle.

8 | Dance classes.

Take a ballroom dance class together or get into some salsa. Mambo Room is offering great V-Day gift certificates, and private lessons for couples are always available.

9 | Jewelry.

In a way the total opposite of everything I just said. If you waited this long to get something, but you know you want to wow her. A simple and stunning piece of jewelry is one of the best gifts you can give a woman. Not sure of her style? You probably can’t go wrong with a single diamond pendant on a silver necklace, or black pearl earrings if you want to get a little ballsy. (If she’s under 40, don’t even think about white pearls. Trust me, and stick to diamonds.)

10 | Great sex.

Perfectly free and fun for you both. Best if preceded by any of the above or in combination; ie. while playing a mix CD of sexy songs (Sade must be a staple on it), rose petals on the bed and lit candles all around, feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries.

Major hint: You’re a lot more likely to get this if you don’t hint at it with a gift of lingerie. Neither subtle nor classy.

Full disclosure note: Just Cupcakes, The Space Above and Mambo Room are all current advertisers on AltDaily.