So Long Jiff-Com, We Hardly Knew Yah…

For the last 11 years Hampton Roads has benefited from a prolonged surge in government spending

On the chopping block (photo militarygraphics.com)

in the form of a new military command whose purpose was to promote “jointness.” The Joint Forces Command, with offices at Norfolk Naval Station and in Suffolk, now employs 6,000 people, over half of them contractors. It is not an official branch of the military. It does not fight wars. It is, as described by the story in today’s Pilot, a military “think tank” that was created in a hurry with the goal of helping the various branches of the military work together more efficiently. It is a mission that has, according to Defense Secretary William Gates, been fulfilled.

Now if I were a Tea Party Patriot, I’d have a real conundrum on my hands. I would have spent the last two years carrying placards and shouting for the government to cut spending so it could lower my taxes and let me live my life of freedom. I would have been getting more and more outraged with every economic bailout authorized by Congress, and I’d be particularly upset about the new health insurance that the government is going to require me to buy. And then suddenly along comes this unfamiliar event–an example of real cost-cutting. An official of the executive branch has come out and declared that he’s going to cut a program that spends over $500 million a year. Finally, things are going the direction I want, right?

Oh no. I’m (in this scenario) a Tea Party Patriot, and I despise all things government, UNLESS they involve guns, tanks and fighter planes. If it’s military, the government CAN’T spend too much, because the rest of the world hates our freedom and there are hordes of angry, accented zealots who want to slaughter us because of our glorious American-ness. I’ve seen them in the movies. They are scary.

Add to this that I’m (still pretending to be) a Tea Party Patriot who happens to live in Hampton Roads. This proposed cut to my dear military is not just theoretically unacceptable, jobs in MY home town are going to disappear. I’m not going to take this sitting down. I’m going to form a commission to fight this crass attempt to steal money from the military to funnel it toward health care for gays and Mexicans. I’m going to pick up my placard and start screaming for the government to spend more, more, more!

Stepping out of my TPP character, I will admit that the above paragraphs are nakedly partisan, and represent a pretty one-sided take on this issue. If this closure goes ahead, a lot of good hard-working people in our area will lose their jobs, even more than when Ford closed its plant in 2009. It will not be good for Norfolk, Suffolk, or the rest of Hampton Roads. We are going to feel real pain. I struck a mock pose in this article because I’m anticipating that the political rhetoric in this fight to keep 6,000 jobs in our area is going to get overheated very quickly.

It’s going to get ugly (the comments on the pilotonline article already have–VERY ugly), and it’s going to put people in strange positions–conservatives fighting for more spending, liberals fighting for a bigger military–all to protect the money that we now feel entitled to receive. But if every time the military makes a temporary expansion it becomes a permanent addition, then our military, and our spending, will only keep growing, unnecessarily and indefinitely.

The military is an essential component of the Hampton Roads economy, but we need to keep building up other economic pillars so that the whole building doesn’t collapse when the Navy shrugs.

Gov. McDonnell Gives Away the Store

Although McDonnell ended up giving an impromptu press conference regarding the JFCOM closure, he was actually at ODU last evening to stump for his plan to privatize liquor stores in Virginia. The event was meant to be a sort of town hall meeting focused on the subject, but the questioners seemed mostly interested in other things. McDonnell contends that the sale of liquor licenses to private businesses will generate $300 to $500 million in immediate revenue. He pledges to direct this money toward solving our “transportation issues,” which, in the worldview of Bob McDonnell, means widening roads. There is an irony in selling alcohol to build roads, but life is full of ironies. I’m a proponent of getting the commonwealth out of the liquor retail business, but I’d just like to make sure that the money generated goes equally to transit and ped/cycling projects (see Governor McDonnell Sends Cyclists to the Crapper). Not that it’s any safer to drink and bike, but it does burn more calories.

Arson Rampage in Brigadoon

Seven suspicious fires were reported in the Brigadoon neighborhood of Virginia Beach on Sunday night between 10 and 10:30. One caused $65,000 of damage to a home. I have no comment other than, Please stop.

That Dumb Stuff on TV Now Costs More

Cox is raising cable TV rates by 6% next week. It now costs $55 for the TV Essential package. What a scam. There is nothing essential about cable TV, and it’s ridiculous to imply that people need to pay $55 a month (plus taxes and fees that bring that up to close to $70) just to watch the broadcast stations plus a few crappy extras. Screw Cox. Cancel your cable subscription. Play cards or go for a walk. You’ll save money and probably have more fun. If you really must watch Mad Men, wait til the season’s over and get the DVD.

Invest in Bikes

Take the money you’re saving from canceling your cable subscription and invest in bicycle stocks. In a world of declining oil reserves, rising gas prices, and an increased focus on green transportation, cycling-related businesses are likely to boom. At least that’s the argument of Tom Konrad, writing for altenergystocks.com. That’s some investment advice that I can get behind.

Speaking of Bikes

Would you watch this man ride a bike? (photo | Wikimedia Commons)

Over on the BikeNorfolk Facebook page we’re brainstorming on a list of inspiring cycling movies for a potential bike/movie night somewhere around town. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure came up as a possibility. He does have quite an awesome bike in that movie. He’s also in on HuffPo today, with the headline Pee-wee Herman Goes To Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Someday, I want to go to Sturgis too.