What is the work carried out at Joint Forces Command?

I know it will be a huge economic hardship to the area if the Joint Forces Command is disbanded, as jESiO wrote yesterday, but if only this feel-good, all-branch cooperative-promoting command hadn’t been named as if it were a Cheech and Chong movie it might have had a better chance of survival.

The Pilot story today explains JFCOM’s efforts to justify its existence, including spending more than 70% of its budget, or $500 million/year on contractors. Craig Quigley, JFCOM’s director of communications, further muddied the waters by stating that the command’s “principal charter was to inculcate jointness,” which last time I checked is still really illegal in this Commonwealth.

Married Gay Illegal Immigrants Invade Arizona

Just kidding, Arizona. But it could happen. According to the New York Times, the Mexican federal government has ordered all Mexican states to honor gay marriage, so when Immigration and Naturalization officials see two Hispanic men running across the border holding hands, they better run like hell, or by the time they get home their own marriages will be worthless. Gay marriage does that. Actually, this may cut back on illegal immigration since many Mexicans would prefer same-sex marriage to picking fruit in Arizona. Who wouldn’t?

Portugal Gives Itself a Clean-Energy Makeover

Portugal - Oil Independence, but not much English

The New York Times tells us that while the US continues to lubricate the oil industry, Portugal produces up to 45% of its electrical energy needs through renewable sources – wind, sun and tidal power. We barely produce 5% of our electricity through renewable sources. Next year, Portugal plans to institute a nationwide system for recharging electric cars. Although electricity in Portugal is more expensive than in the US, once you add in environmental costs like the billions of dollars of damage caused by the Deepwater Horizon disaster, clean renewable energy starts to sound better and better. Unfortunately, people in Portugal don’t speak English, so we don’t much care what they do.

Weather: Cold front to bring temps in the 90s

I’m not sure that temperature in the 90s really qualifies as a cold front, but it is a nice relief from the triple digit temperatures and humidity of the last few days. Yesterday, The Pilot’s Mike Gruss mocked locals who based claims that this was the hottest summer ever on the recent weather while the overall increase was only a degree or two. Here’s a headline from Bloomberg that puts our heat wave in perspective: Russia Heat Wave May Kill 15,000. That’s 15,000 people who have died from the heat, not uncomfortable or forced to hang out in air-conditioned malls or movie theaters. Yes, it’s been hot and miserable, but it’s not the end of the world. Unless it is the end of the world, then panic.

The DAY-lee Press Guide to Pronunciations in Virginia News

One of the things I love about reading the paper is that you don’t have to know how to pronounce things. You can skip the long words and slide over the unpronounceable names. Apparently the Daily Press has figured this out and provided a guide to pronouncing words and names in the news. If you think you don’t need this valuable guide, I have only one thing to say: Abdelhaleem Hasan Abdelraziq Ashqar.

Eat a Chicken to Save a Dog?

The Suffolk News-Herald reported earlier this week that the Suffolk Humane Society will be hosting “yappy hours” at the Mosiac Café this Saturday from 5-9pm to raise funds for the great work the society does for companion animals. While I love local businesses supporting animal causes, I’m always a little confused by fundraisers such as this one that serve up chickens, pigs, cows, crabs, shrimp and other animal-based dishes in order to save cats and dogs. Wouldn’t it be easier and more convenient to simply cook up the cats and dogs? Horror, you say? I don’t see that it makes sense for farm animals to lead shortened, diminished lives to improve the lives of pets. Many national humane societies, and many local ones as well, are now insisting that no animals be harmed for their fundraising. I think that’s a good trend and I hope that Suffolk Humane considers it for future fundraisers. Support the humane society, but suggest they support vegetarian fundraisers.

Algae blooms strike Hampton Roads waters – again

Photo: Jim Conrad's Naturalist Newsletter

The Pilot tells us that the recent epidemic of algae blooms in our waters comes from lawn fertilizers, industrial runoff and mysterious other sources. This week, large blooms have been seen between Ocean View and Chic’s Beach, near Fort Monroe, the Monitor-Merrimac bridge, at the mouth of the Nansemond River and in the James River by the Newport News waterfront. If we continue to treat the Chesapeake Bay as a sewer, we better develop a fondness for algae.

Toyota stops car exports to Iran

This CNN headline is one of the few times recently that Toyota and stopping have been mentioned in the same sentence. Despite United Nations Security Council sanctions restricting business with Iran, there was some support to allow Toyota to continue supplying Iran with cars that accelerate arbitrarily, burst into flames or have steering locks that engage whenever.

Beach police searching for missing Alzheimer’s patient

Why is this still happening when police can find everything from a laptop to an iPhone to a Cadillac Escalade just by punching a few buttons? Why are tracking bracelets lavished on criminals and denied to Alzheimer’s patients? I don’t like the idea of the government tracking me by my cell phone or car, but I think that an exception could be made to provide dementia patients who are likely to wander with free tracking devices. It would be cheaper than mobilizing the media and police to track these folks down, and certainly kinder than letting these confused and often terrified people wander aimlessly, or hide for a week in bushes, as 79-year-old Mary Eileen Butts did last month before being found. By the way, they found this guy.

Mister Coffee Resurrected

My Revitalized Mr Coffee

You couldn’t have read this in the newspaper, since it’s personal news, but it’s so great I’d like to share it. I drink coffee. A lot of coffee. It’s not a problem for me. I buy wonderful free-trade, organic Ethiopian Yergacheffe from Virginia Espresso at 19^th and Granby (wonderful coffee, great prices, terrible web site). It’s also right next door to Organic Food Depot, another of my favorite local stores.

Last week, tragedy struck. The Mr. Coffee machine that I bought about 7 years ago stopped heating up. The Mr. Coffee is a piece of Chinese-made crap which I bought before I began avoiding Chinese products. These days, the only non-Chinese-made replacements available are some very expensive Italian coffee makers, or American-made Bunn coffeemakers which are both expensive and poorly reviewed.

I looked at an online forum and found others facing similar problems. One guy replaced something called thermistors that fixed the same problem I was having. I began a frantic search for thermistors, meanwhile pouring boiling water through my dead Mr. Coffee, which produced a gritty caffeine-laden sludge. I couldn’t find any thermistors around town, so instead I spent $3.98 on a cheaper model “as-is” Mr. Coffee from the CHKD Thriftstore at 3605 East Virginia Beach Boulevard in Virginia Beach.

Even though they were different models, the heating element, complete with thermistors, was an exact replacement. The exchange took about 10 minutes, required a couple of screwdrivers and a wire cutter, and left me with a small box of spare parts, including another glass carafe, the part that usually breaks. It pleases me that throwaway garbage products can be repaired rather than replaced with more junk. That’s the way things used to be, and with the current recession when people have more time than money, it just might be the wave of the future.