If You Read the Paper | Mon Sept 27
Words Bob Chorush
Monday, September 27th, 2010 at 7:48 am
I have a confession to make.
I didn’t read the paper today. I’ve been preoccupied. This will be my last submission for If You Read the Paper. Last Friday, I was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.
Bob @ home. Photo: Tom Robotham
But first things first.
Over the years, I have written for many publications, from the prestigious Rolling Stone to the psychedelic East Village Other in NYC, which had a weekly ritual of laying out the paper while on LSD. It’s been a similar thrill writing for AltDaily.
Jesse and Hannah have been doing an incredible job with AltDaily, from the initial concept, to its development, to running it in an admirably professional manner. The vision they are providing and encouraging in the development of community in Hampton Roads is the sort of stuff that will get a park or elementary school named after them one day.
As you may have been able to tell from my writings here, I’m less optimistic about the development of culture in this area. However, things that Jesse and Hannah have done, such as the art in the streets, the Naro screenings and the street performers, belie my old man’s point of view. They are creating a culture here so I hope that you all continue to support their efforts.
I will probably be devoting much of my remaining time to traveling, seeing friends, tidying stuff up and running up my credit cards. I’m quite accepting of this diagnosis and am refusing any further medical care except for pain management. If lucky, I’ll have a couple of good months and a hell of a send-off. A dear friend will care for my dog who has been my constant companion for the past 12 years.
My dog Py. Photo: Pat Vedomske
Although things may change, my current plan is to establish legal residency in Washington State, although I will mostly be in the Norfolk area, to take advantage of Washington’s doctor assisted suicide program and legal medical marijuana. I suppose that these choices will anger some people, since they are both illegal and/or immoral in Virginia. Folks, you really have to do something about the assholes running this state and the poisonous post bellum mentality that supports them. Jesse has invited me to write about my upcoming experiences with planned suicide and medical marijuana and if I feel well enough, I’ll take him up on it.
Not that long ago someone I met asked me, “How did you end up in Norfolk?”
“Please,” I said. “I haven’t ended up yet.”
Now that I am about to end up, I’m choosing to do it a place that will allow me to do it with dignity and with my head in a cloud of dope smoke.
I have had a really interesting life. I have no regrets and no bucket list, since I’ve done more in and with my life than I’d ever expected. My to-do list is done.
Thanks for reading and commenting on my columns. You can contact me by email, but I apologize in advance if I am slow to reply.
I’ll leave you with some words from a dear dead friend of mine, Ben White, who founded the Church of the Earth, an animal rights, environmentally-based religious group.
What happens when we die?
There is a story of a great spiritual master who was dying, surrounded by his grieving disciples. They cried, “Oh, Master, please don’t leave us.”
He answered, “Where would I go?”
Nothing ends. Things just rearrange. The concern about whether or not we will retain a consciousness of individuality through death is misplaced. It is the concept of separateness that is the illusion. We are and will always be connected to everything.
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ABOUT THE WRITER
Bob Chorush is an animal rights activist and a former editor of Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of The Bob Blog Blog located on his web site at www.bobchorush.com. Contact Bob at Bob@BobChorush.com
Other posts by Bob Chorush.
Other posts by Bob Chorush.
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I very sorry to hear of your illness, Bob. But I admire your decision to make the best of the time you have, rather than throwing yourself on the brutal mercies of the health care system. It’s been a pleasure to read your articles here on AltDaily. I look forward to hearing about your further adventures in far-off places.
Sincerely,
BC
sweet days ahead, the world is blossoming for and with you. keep fighting the good fight. thank you for your gifts and answers that you have and will provide.
Wishing you the best as you make the most of life. Thank you for sharing through your writing over the years.
Happy trails…
Bob,
I don’t know you, but I am grieved for your state. I pray that your passing is gentle and that your friends and family press on and honor you well.
I must tell you. Bob, you will shortly find yourself standing before a holy God. God is righteous and just; you, despite your most valiant efforts are not. If you go before the Lord, dead in your sins, you will receive the just sentence of eternal hell.
Please, consider that there is a way of salvation. In God’s great love for you, he sent his only begotten Son to bear the weight of your sins and to die in your place. Jesus Christ has absorbed all the wrath that your sins rightly deserve. Receive him as your Lord and your Savior, and you can be most assured of the state of your soul. You will be reconciled with your Creator and death for you will be a wonderous gain.
I am praying for you, Bob. I sincerely wish your best.
I’ll close with the words of a living friend of mine:
“For God so loved the world, [fn] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
Hi, Brandon,
Thank you for your kind thoughts and concern about my soul. I grew up Jewish so have reconciled myself to spending eternity in Hell. I believe that religion is second only to greed as a negative force in the world; or maybe they’re the same thing since religion often stresses a type of spiritual greed.
Please don’t be offended as I understand that your comment was made in the spirit of being helpful. I’m not sure I understand how God’s son bore the weight of my sins 2000 years prior to me committing them, but, hey, sounds good to me.
I quote the Polish aphorist Stanislaw Lem: “Perhaps God intended for me to be an atheist.” Or maybe Bob Dylan: “You’re right from your side, I’m right from mine…”
Bob
To Bob,
Your the man.
Sincerely,
Sam
Here’s where religion truly rears its ugly head. When it drives its followers to goad the dying with their unsubstantiated claims of eternal torment. There’s no evidence for this claim, and I’m glad Bob’s smart enough to ignore it.
Hearts to you, Bob.
Brandon -
I still can’t believe what an asshole you are for posting this.
Recommendation. Get whatever care you can now, while it lasts. Mediocrity cometh through tyranny of the minority.
Bob, it has been my honor to work with you. Thank you for your kind words about AltDaily and our personal efforts. Though you’re not “ending up” here, you’ve brought to this area a light and life with your writing. And you have inspired me immensely. Thank you.
Hi Bob,
We don’t know each other very well, but we’ve had a few interactions with each other since we first met a few years ago.
You mentioned having done more in your life than you expected to have done, so I began reading about you and your various life adventures (read: stalking). I felt compelled to say that I wish that I, and everyone I know, would strive to have as many life experiences as yourself. In a world full of mediocrity your life stands out. People who know you well should consider themselves fortunate to have you in their lives.
Stay awesome, Bob…
Bob, we haven’t met, but I’ve enjoyed reading your columns and I’ve heard about you from Pat. I’ve always liked this:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
“WOO HOO what a ride!”
Best wishes,
Kim
Bob,
I am so thankful that you have allowed the readers of this site into your life in this way. It’s incredible to see someone face such an awful f’n thing as cancer with such dignity… and as callous as it sounds, it’s inspiring as well. Thank you so much for sharing.
As an atheist, I am often told that when I face the end of my life, I am *miraculously* going to grow some sort of faith in god. Again, I am inspired by people like you and Christopher Hitchens that are able to fight the seductive urge to rely on comfortable dogma and grasp their own mortality without grasping at supernatural straws.
Hi Bob, you are smart to stay way from “doctors” I have faith that you will kick cancer’s ass on a fruititarian organic diet. They cure terminally ill cancer patients with that diet combined with yoga, meditation, exercise and a positive environment. Lance Armstrong beat his terminal cancer with similar ways and went on to become superman. I know you are not afraid of your next journey and only feel bad about the shape you are leaving this world, and the thought of not seeing your loved ones, and that just shows us all how strong and beautiful you are. Rock on my brother!
Love Dave
Lance beat testicular cancer with chemo. Please don’t advocate people eating fruit instead of getting life-saving medical treatment. I know you mean well, but it’s really irresponsible, and a sweet last statement from a dying man is a pretty poor choice of a place to do it.
Bob,
You inspired me back at the PETA HQ when we worked together and you inspire me now. My deepest love to you and Py right now and always.
Melissa
Dear Bob,
Thanks for living authentically and inspiring others to do the same.
I have done quite a bit of work with animals and people in preparation for their transitions, and hold the vision that yours is full of warmth, peace and right companionship, even more so than all the years that led up to it.
All good wishes,
Maiyah
Dear Bob,
Thank you for reminding me that I still have quite a bit of living to do. While I have done more in my time than most, I’m not done yet. My you return to the earth and become a part of that with you have loved, respected and my your positive energy be part of what helps to heal it. I wish you god speed on the next step of the journey. As I remember, Washington is beautiful this time of year.
Bob:
I hope that life affords you the time to do whatever else you’d like to do with it. Best of luck.
I have been inspired by ur courage and ur ability to keep ur sense of humour despite what u r facing….good luck….and know that there are folks out here in ur corner…..