Virginia politicians have no shame

When I prepare to write If You Read the Paper every Friday, I don’t read just the Virginian-Pilot and the Daily Press and the Times-Dispatch; I read every newspaper in the country, scouring them for news that affects the region. That’s how I know that today’s Florida Times-Union argues that “Virginia’s political war of attrition against the Navy… is endangering the Pentagon’s efforts to adequately protect its assets,” then states that “Virginia’s congressional delegation insists — with varying and mystifying arguments — that it’s in the nation’s interests to keep the carriers vulnerable.”

Naval Station Mayport.

The editorial references a plan to move an aircraft carrier to Naval Station Mayport, which could cost Virginia as many as 6,000 jobs. The Florida Times-Union points out that “the entire Atlantic fleet could be crippled by a single hurricane or act of sabotage” if the carriers stay in Norfolk. All the Times-Union wants, you see, is for the carriers to be safe; Mayport’s location 18 miles from Jacksonville (the city served by the Times-Union) is pure coincidence.

If I laid out what I really think about aircraft carriers and military budgets in general, I’d be run out of town, so let me focus on our more likely common ground, not to mention the more important point here: it’s now incumbent upon the Virginian-Pilot’s editorial page to berate Florida’s congressional delegation for something or other, upping the rhetorical battle so that the only possible end is for the entire staff of both papers to meet halfway (e.g. South of the Border) and settle this by playing tug-of-war.

Beach bumming pays off for Jimmy Buffett

Declaring war on Florida isn’t the only idea I’m putting in the Pilot’s suggestion box. Another occurs to me after this piece where the Pilot helpfully “break[s] down” five hits by Jimmy Buffett, who played last night in Virginia Beach. Some choice bits: “She can’t escape the prowling ‘sharks’ in the local bars. The ‘fins’ to her left and ‘fins’ to her right circle her, the only bait’ in town.” “But come Monday, after spending four lonely days in a ‘brown L.A. haze’ (a reference to the city’s smog), all will be well.”

I especially like the elucidation of Buffett’s obscure allusion to “brown L.A. haze.” Here’s hoping the Pilot makes a regular new feature out of critical exegeses of bands’ songs prior to local shows. To help get this off the ground, I offer to the Pilot my analyses below of well-known hits by upcoming visitors to Hampton Roads.

Def Leopard brings out the best in John.

Def Leppard (6/25, Farm Bureau Live at Virginia Beach): In this paean to love’s “razzle ‘n’ a dazzle” a “demolition woman” is asked “pour some sugar on me” in the hope of feeling “hot sticky sweet,” after which she (along with, perhaps, listeners) is urged to “squeeze a little, squeeze a little, tease a little more.”

Kid Rock (8/23, Farm Bureau Live at Virginia Beach): After positing that he can “get more ass than Mark McGrath” (a reference to Mark McGrath), the artist delves into meta-analysis in an attempt to prove his boast isn’t “bragging.”

NOFX (10/22, The NorVa): This urgent polemic beseeches the audience for help in a quest to “kill all the white man, oh yeah, kill all the white man.”

Dave Matthews Tribute Band (7/30, The NorVa): Most likely a typo. I’ll write to Pollstar and get it removed.

Norfolk activist sues The Pilot over 2010 article

Michael J. Muhammad’s lawsuit argues that the Pilot libeled him when it wrote that he “once implied that Downtown Norfolk should burn.” He seeks $10 million. If he wins, expect others to vaguely imply in proximity of Pilot writers that Norfolk should burn, in the hope of laying the foundation for more $10 million libel suits.

Now that he’s running, Kaine can’t run from Soering decision

The Pilot’s Kerry Dougherty refers without apparent irony to “the bad old days before Virginia abolished parole.”

Judge orders U.Va. to release climate research documents

The outlook regarding climate-of-academic-freedom change continues to deteriorate.

Va. National Guard readies for Iraq

The Virginia National Guard “is gearing up for its largest single deployment since 9/11.”

Va. weighs privatizing predator detention program

Hard to imagine how this could be a good idea.

House GOP proposal would privatize Amtrak’s Northeast Corridor

After decades of refusing Amtrak the money it needs to operate effectively, Republicans are arguing that Amtrak can’t operate effectively.

Energize Virginia: A citizen’s summit on offshore wind power

This wind-power summit in Richmond on June 4 features Terry McAuliffe and Donald McEachin.

HRT board approves budget for light-rail service

HRT’s president “expects to announce by June 15 an opening date for The Tide.”

How any town can become bike-friendly

Now I’ll round out Norfolk Bike Month with five bike-related links. First, watch this video to learn how Norfolk can become just like Boulder, Colorado.

Richmond 2015

Richmond 2015 this week released a video announcing its bid to bring the UCI World Road Cycling Championships to the state’s capital, which would happen September 19-27, 2015. The website claims the event could attract 300,000 spectators and up to 300 million television viewers.

Trek-Livestrong’s Joe Dombrowski: Still surprising himself

Here VeloNews profiles Virginia’s own Joe Dombrowski, who at age 20 “earned podium spots at pro domestic and European stage races, quickly emerging as one of Trek-Livestrong’s best weapons in the mountains.”

AASHTO approves new US bicycle routes across America

The Virginia DOT “has been working over the past year to update their U.S. Bicycle Routes, submitting two applications for realignment in the fall of 2010. This spring, they updated sections of USBR 1 and USBR 76.”

Beach century bike tour

Ride 100 miles with me in Virginia Beach on October 1.