If You Read the Paper | Fri, July 1
Words John McManus
Friday, July 1st, 2011 at 9:21 am
Good morning, all, and welcome to my all-too-perfunctory news roundup.
Today is a travel day for me. The same has been true of three of the last four Fridays. Today’s news is boring anyway, so count yourself lucky that I’m writing so little.
Cuccinelli: Pastors can talk politics in the pulpit
How can I deem an entire day’s news boring? Easy: I do a Google News search for Cuccinelli and find just one result from the last 24 hours—from Pat Robertson’s CBN News, no less.
McDonnell has a bright future.
McDonnell a possible 2012 vice-presidential pick
Governor Bob McDonnell is in today’s news exactly 124 times as often as Ken Cuccinelli. All his favorite new laws are going into effect today. His approval ratings are soaring. His star is rising. He will be our nation’s next vice president. He’s renewing his push for ABC privatization.Easy to explain that last bit: New York Gov. Cuomo’s success last week in legalizing gay marriage has made McDonnell jealous, and gotten him thinking hard about his legacy.
Pride flag at the Fed comes down today
All month at the Federal Reserve Bank in Richmond a rainbow flag has been flying to celebrate Pride Month; today it comes down.
Workers at Virginia Ikea factory face low pay, discrimination, and forced overtime
At least they have the “right to work.”
Be warned: New Virginia laws take effect Friday
The Pilot doesn’t say what time these 900 new laws take effect; my best guess is one per minute from 9 AM to midnight.
Virginia State Police announce extra patrols for long Independence Day weekend
Don’t forget to obey the old laws as you adjust to the 900 new ones.
Turn back, sea level, turn back or else!
Even the military can’t stop rising sea levels
I don’t write these headlines; I just copy and paste them.
Navy, NOAA turn to 3D mapping of old shipwrecks
The use of sonar technology “will result in vivid, three-dimensional images of the shipwrecks that will likely end up online, in museums and as part of other programs designed to promote American maritime heritage.”
Never-before seen Titanic photos revealed in Norfolk
In closely related news, scientists revealed never-before-seen images of the world’s best-known shipwreck this week in a Norfolk courtroom.
Revelan nuevas imágenes 3D del Titanic hundido
Thanks to the Titanic pictures, Norfolk is famous in Latin America today.
143-pound blue catfish catch a Virginia record
This catfish story seems confined to English-language media.
Coast Guard: 7 punished for hazing aboard ship
Court-martials in Norfolk have found seven Coast Guard crew members guilty of “hazing incidents that included tying down fellow crew members and stripping them of their clothing.”
Making your power bill glow like black light.
Average Dominion Power bill will jump to $108.77
Part of the cost increase will go “to pay for converting three power plants, including one in Southampton County, to biomass-generating facilities.”
A warning from Thomas Jefferson
Larry Flynt reminds us that “[w]hen it came to setting up our government, Thomas Jefferson had three concerns: tyranny of kings, tyranny of theocrats, and tyranny of the wealthy.”
Pat Robertson: God is going to destroy America
The destruction will begin with the huge pictures of Pat Robertson hanging in the Norfolk Airport.
Top 10 Virginia political blogs
True political junkies, click here for the fix you’re not getting today in this space.
Bedbugs invade Virginia, what can you do to fight them off?
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ABOUT THE WRITER
John McManus is the author of the novel Bitter Milk and the short story collections Born on a Train and Stop Breakin Down. His fiction has appeared in many journals, including Tin House, Harvard Review, The Oxford American, Ploughshares, Columbia, Grist, and American Short Fiction. He lives in Norfolk and teaches in the MFA creative writing program at Old Dominion University. Links to his publications can be found at his website, http://johnmcmanus.net/ .
Other posts by John McManus.
Other posts by John McManus.
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Rest assured there won’t be a Mormon/Catholic or Catholic/Catholic Republican ticket. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of the old Dixiecrats who are now Republicans. Rubio and McDonnell are both in swing states, but they’re both Catholic. I don’t think there’s much chance of the Republicans taking New Jersey, so Chris Christie isn’t much of a consideration. Obama doesn’t have a good chance of winning Louisiana or South Carolina, so that rules out Nikki Haley and Bobby Jindal. But, of all those people I mentioned, all but one is a part of the Papist conspiracy.
MSNBC would be wise to send Chris Hansen to the rust belt to find potential options in a rust belt state where the jobs keep going away. Mitch Daniels might have bowed out of the competition for the top spot, but might be a pick for VP. I’d look out for Senator Johnson from Wisconsin.
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