Cuccinelli stays away from veterans association probe

Today as world markets plunge I thought I’d start off with some tidbits about Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli.

First, Cuccinelli’s office is investigating “a fraudulent veterans charity organization that collected at least $2 million from Virginia residents.” Cuccinelli has chosen to be “walled off” from this investigation “because he received $55,500 in campaign contributions in 2009 from a man who acted as the charity’s director and is now a fugitive facing criminal charges.”

Our beloved Cooch lives on Shake Down St. full time. (Art | Seth Patrick)

I imagine more is to come regarding this story; for now I’ll just say that I like the notion of Cuccinelli’s being “walled off” from things.

Cuccinelli has big lead over Bolling, both edge out Dems in 2013 gubernatorial polls

The obvious reading of this headline is that Ken Cuccinelli leads in the gubernatorial polls. Another possible reading is that someone at the polling firm loathes Cuccinelli and has skewed the data to give him false hope. In this alternate reading, the possibly real poll results are that not one Virginian intends to vote for Cuccinelli.

The most popular man in Virginia

This honor goes to someone named Frank Beamer, whom I support in a theoretical head-to-head matchup against Cuccinelli. I think he’s a state senator or something; there are too many to keep track. Whoever you are, Frank Beamer, I’ve got a campaign check for $50 with your name on it.

Tax rates for millionaires have fallen 25% since 1995

Millionaires pay less tax with each passing year. Meanwhile, local Warren Jeffs impersonator Eric Cantor tells the Wall Street Journal that “Entitlement promises are not going to be kept for many.”

Full disclosure: the link is a video; if you click it, you’ll see that twitchy smile Cantor gives when he’s imparting bad news. It reminds me of a line in James Agee’s essay “America, Look at Your Shame,” which comes after the author has felt complicitly silent on a city bus in the face of racism: “[The other rider and I] looked at each other and a queer, sick smile took one corner of his face, and I felt in my own cheeks that tickling, uncontrollable, nauseating smile which is so liable to seize my face when I tell one close friend disastrous news of another.”

Cantor’s statement is maybe the most explicit admission yet by a high-ranking legislator that Republicans don’t want to reform Social Security and Medicare or change them or help ensure their success; they want to destroy them.

Pedicures are like pap smears? Why we need the ERA

Federally subsized pedis. Oh, word?! (Pic | womenthatwow)

Family PAC Federal VP Sandy Rios went on Fox News this week to ask, “We’re $14 trillion in debt and now we’re going to cover birth control, breast pumps, counseling for abuse? Are we going to do pedicures and manicures as well?”

An early flip-flop for Senate candidate George Allen

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, George Allen opposed raising the debt ceiling this week but voted to raise it four times in the Senate.

US judge rules in favor of Appalachian landowners over natural gas royalties

Landowners in Virginia and other states now have initial legal recourse against natural gas companies that have been defrauding them.

Feds announce results of Eastern Shore drug investigation

The results of this expensive two-year investigation are that people on the Eastern Shore buy and sell drugs.

ABC Family tops GLAAD’s gay programming list

ABC Family, a channel that began as part of local author Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network, is one of two networks to receive a rating of “excellent” from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. I couldn’t reach Robertson for comment; staffers told me he is glued to the Weather Channel, scouring the tropical forecast for hurricanes he can blame for this news.

Organizers say Rick Perry prayer event in Houston is meant to be nonpolitical

PatRob makes more sense when you assume he's stoned all the time. (Pic | kickrocs.com)

Local amateur meteorologist Pat Robertson says Texas Governor Perry “should be able to make a very compelling appeal to those voters” who attend a prayer event tomorrow where Perry’s supporters will ask God to smite the other presidential candidates. Nevertheless, Robertson is “leaning toward” Michelle Bachmann. Organizers call the event “non-political.”

US forecasters see busy hurricane season

Staffers told me Robertson plans to party like it’s 2005.

Coalition aims to challenge Va. no-tax pledge in balancing the budget

One thing I’ve learned from Tea Partiers after the recent debt-ceiling debate is to fight for measures exponentially more extreme than the ones I believe in. Therefore I now support paying sick people $1,000 for every doctor visit, giving $100,000 in welfare per month to anyone who makes less, and quadrupling Social Security benefits every week from now until the end of time. I’m glad Better Choices for Virginia “hopes to shift the terms of debate in Richmond from spending cuts to raising revenues,” because these measures will require new revenue sources.

ATM stolen from Virginia Beach gentlemen’s club

Here’s another way to obtain new revenue. When this happened in Breaking Bad, it didn’t turn out well. I prefer taxing the rich.

Tax exempt weekend starts Friday

All weekend long Virginia will forfeit sales tax income on school supplies under $20 and clothing under $100.

ODU student shot near campus in critical condition

Norfolk is appallingly unsafe.

Judge allows Army veteral to sue Rumsfeld over torture

If you thought Nancy Grace was angry after Casey Anthony went free, she’ll be apoplectic if this Rumsfeld guy is found not guilty.