This has to be one of the slower days in Hampton Roads news in recent memory.

Looking through the Pilot I kept expecting to come across a feature documenting Denis Finley’s recent successes in the bathroom. Any way, here goes…

Slain pit bull Vick remembered at candlelight vigil

Wait, this story has nothing to do with Michael Vick? Weird. This story did alert me to the fact that a group called “The Tidewater Coalition For Pit Bull Awareness” exists. From their About Us page: “Each of us (is) dedicated to changing the public’s perceptions and being good Ambassadors for our local Bully Breeds.”

Okay, so none of that is really interesting, but here’s something that is. A few years ago Malcolm Gladwell wrote a piece for the New Yorker about what pit bulls can teach us about racial profiling. If you’re a defender of pit bulls (or brown/black people), it’s a must read. Here’s a section that paints pits in a very different light than their common stereotype:

“Their stability and resoluteness make them excellent for work with people who might not like a more bouncy, flibbertigibbet sort of dog. When pit bulls set out to provide comfort, they are as resolute as they are when they fight, but what they are resolute about is being gentle. And, because they are fearless, they can be gentle with anybody.”

The piece goes on to explain that it’s not that pit bulls are innately insane muscle balls without regard for human life. They just tend to be owned and trained by insane muscle balls without regard for human life.

“It’s a reflection of what the dog of choice is among people who want to own an aggressive dog,” said Randall Lockwood, a senior vice-president of the A.S.P.C.A.

My point is, on this very slow news day, pit bulls are sweet, loving, wonderfully loyal dogs if you train them to grow up that way. And if you don’t… watch out boy. But in either case, don’t blame the dog.

One year in, Tea Partiers look forward

Local Tea Party activists held a demonstration at Town Center yesterday “Celebrating the one-year anniversary of their anti-big-government movement.” One of them was dressed like Elvis.

According to the Washington Post, the Iraq War will end up costing us over 3 Trillion dollars. I’m going to say that again except bigger.

Three TRILLION Dollars.

Where were these Tea Partiers a few years ago when we really needed them? It makes me so sad that there are some people willing to throw a rally when they’re worried about every American having access to proper health care, but when America is spending infinitely more on foreign wars, well, fighter jets are kinda neat, eh?

Taste Test: Yummy grilled cheesy goodness

Yes, one of the Pilot‘s food critics is named Lorraine Eaton. And yes, she eats grilled cheese sandwiches for a living. God bless her, and God bless whoever decided that cheese would taste better hot between two slices of bread. (Lorraine’s winner was Press 626 in Norfolk.)

Hampton ramps up drug lessons in eighth grade to deter use between middle and high schools

My jam.

From the Daily Press. Remember, kids, pot is a stepping stone drug. You start by taking one little “toke” with your “homefries.” And then the next thing you know you’re in the middle of a raging river, standing perilously on a rock shaped like a joint. You can’t turn back… you’re scared… suddenly Peter Frampton is kinda awesome and you’re eating Screaming Yellow Zonkers… and then you’re hooked on heroin. DON’T SAY THE CITY OF HAMPTON DIDN’T WARN YOU.

In all seriousness, don’t do crack, 13 year olds. On the real.

Pentagon ends ban of women on submarines

I have a student who is a veteran of submarines, and he recently wrote about why women shouldn’t be allowed to serve on subs. What I thought was his most interesting and compelling argument is that, when you’re on a sub, you are always being exposed to radiation. If a woman falls pregnant on a sub, the sub will essentially have to come to shore immediately or else risk the fetus being deformed or even dying. This obviously diverts the sub’s mission, but could also put the sub and its soldiers at risk, depending on the location and situation. Thought that was an interesting take.

Military Update: Too many leave service unaware of benefits

Get what’s yours, veterans! Damn if you didn’t earn everything you’ve got coming to you.

Kerry Dougherty might have to sit next to a baby on a plane!!!

From Kerry’s Twitter: Boarding a jet to Atlanta. One bawling baby in the boarding area. What are the chances she WON’T be next to me?

Oh my God, I SO! know what you’re talking about!!! Isn’t that THE WORST?!?! LOL!

(I will now spend the next half hour alternating between laughing manically and crying uncontrollably.)

Jesu=Out.