“Staying in bed shouting, ‘Oh God!’ does not constitute going to church.”

This message displayed on Central Baptist Church’s sign in Ghent caught my eye while driving down Colley on my way to yoga class at the YMCA. Presumably, it was supposed to. The sign dons its message not only to catch my eye but also to call me to action. I should be a church go-er, it implies; its guilt-striking message to loom on my conscience (or my headboard) until I do.

But what does this sign mean? As is usual with religious messages, cultural context accounts for a good portion of its meaning. The line between literal and figurative is vague and often blurred. I had several thoughts about this message, as I’m sure many other passersby did too. Mine are as follows:

1. This sign is tongue-in-cheek and trying to be humorous with its reference to orgasm. It has an almost kitschy, fun feel. This church seems a bit on the hip side with its bedroom talk—a modern attention-grabber. “See,” it seems to be saying, “even churches know people respond to sex in advertising.”
2. This message is pointing out, quite literally, that shouting “Oh God” in bed is not going to church. That’s it.
3. This sign is trying to encourage lazy, grumpy people to get out of bed and go to church.
4. This sign is guilting people who have sex into going to church, even if they think they’re having a holy experience between the sheets.
5. People should attend church instead of doing anything else on Sunday morning.

Photo | M. Bertinetti/DeA Picture Library

Its meaning is interpretive, regardless of what the church intended. Each reader brings to bear his or her own experience. On any front, the main message implied is that people should go to church instead of doing other things during worship hours like sleep or have sex. Attending church constitutes something better, despite the fact that both of these are good for the human body. Attending church exhibits spirituality, work ethic and purity by proxy. While the sign doesn’t say this directly, its indirect messages are clear and supported by numerous people in our culture. In order to be spiritual, you must go to church and go often. This somehow equates the person with sanctity and having his or her priorities in order. Attending church trumps just about anything, and not going is often cited by many church members and clergy as the only reason a person is not particularly put together. It’s the reason they’re lazy. It’s the reason they’re having good sex. It’s the reason they’re lost.

The sign also bares the question, what constitutes going to church if shouting “Oh God” in bed doesn’t? Sitting in a pew, singing, praying, repenting, listening to a sermon, and giving an offering, of course. This is worship by Christian definition. This type of church–the “proper kind”–is the only type a person gets points for. It’s as if God has a giant abacus in the sky and is keeping track.

To my way of thinking, however, worshiping God or another higher power need not be in a church or temple. It need not be recorded or seen by others. While attending church can be a spiritual experience, often it’s not. I’ve been to a hell of a lot of church myself, and it left me lackluster most of the time, most of my life. More often it’s a game of keeping up with the Joneses or bargaining with God or following force of habit. It largely acts as a social function or worse yet, a social expectation of normalcy. To be normal, moral and with it, you must attend a church and follow its code for conduct. Or that’s the going rumor, at least. I believe two types of fear dominate this form of church attendance—the fear of going to hell and the fear of what others will think of you.

So what constitutes going to church? Can it be a daily ritual? Can spirituality thrive without organized religion? Reading outside church doctrine tells us that Christian monks and nuns have become enlightened (currently a non-Christian concept), and that someone like Lord Harries, the former Bishop of Oxford–and a plethora of others like him–believe in evolution and think it’s one of God’s greatest miracles. When did these people give themselves permission to think outside the cultural norms of belief? When does the scientific fact of evolution win out over current interpretation of the Bible? Where does the literal and/or figurative definition of biblical texts begin and end? When does the individual take charge of his or her own spiritual path and what they believe? When does living become worship instead of living to worship?

To me, being spiritual is a personal stew of wonder, appreciation and love. It is striving to be connected to myself. It’s an attempt to be calm and thoughtful. It’s waking in the morning with a sense of gratitude. Endeavoring to be kind and thankful. Connecting with others in genuine ways. Attaching myself less and less to materialism, dogma and social expectations. Reaching beyond the hymnals and sermons and religious rhetoric to look inside myself to find my own internal wisdom, my own spiritual journey. It’s more than going through the motions of church attendance or racking up points.

Worshiping can take many forms. It’s a yoga practice. It’s a long walk. It’s a deep, understanding look into your child’s seeking eyes. It’s a quiet moment alone. It’s taking responsibility for your own life. It’s making an effort, daily, to be a better human being with compassion for others. Worship can happen anytime and anywhere and can be a personal sojourn with private inspirations.

If attending a church on Sunday morning is your thing, by all means go and enjoy. But I don’t accept or believe the notion that we should collectively force-feed church attendance as the only way to worship or as spiritual growth. Instead, I believe we are capable of designing our own journey that may include or discard traditional ideas of worship. It’s natural to be on this journey and to long for God or spiritual development. It’s also natural to design our own experience that is as limitless as the universe itself.