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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

In Honor of the Family Dollar (a paean)

(gasp)

(gasp)

Because we had just moved into a new place

and needed a bunch of crap

we headed to the Family Dollar

where they’ve got everything on the map.

We choose the one in Park Place

don’t call it ghetto.

The old black lady Regina behind the counter

was really quite kind and mellow.

Are the stars falling or am I in Family Dollar?

Are the stars falling or am I in Family Dollar?

In the Family Dollar

there are silver balls in the sky.

It feels just like heaven,

I bet Family Dollar founder Leon Levine is really fly.

Everyone at Family Dollar is nice

because rich people don’t go there

and rich people are jerks

and also have disproportionally yellow hair.

This guy didn't make the poem, but he had a crazy ratty sailor cap on, and he deserves some credit.

This guy didn't make the poem, but he had a crazy ratty sailor cap on, and he deserves some credit.

I grabbed a red cart

and cradled the plastic molded handle

“Oh joy, so much to purchase!” I thought

and my eyes lit up like candles.

A wastebasket! A colander!

Salted cashews! A towel camel!

The only way you’ll get me out of here

is attaching to me a handle

And dragging me out

connected by shower hooks white

but I’d trick you by switching outfits with Regina

and hiding with all my might.

It's hard to get out of Family Dollar, which I don't mind at all.

It's hard to get out of Family Dollar, which I don't mind at all.

And there I would live

It’d be like a dream

I would be the King of Family Dollar

just me and good old Leon Levine.

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ABOUT THE WRITER
Jesse is the editor in chief of AltDaily, and he's going to take this bio seriously, but not so seriously that he's going to continue in the third person. I've been involved with a bunch of local projects and civic groups in various roles, including: Hampton Roads, The Canvas; Art | Everywhere, Street Performance in Norfolk; Survive Norfolk; Hampton Roads Pride/Out in the Park; Bike Norfolk; re:Vision Norfolk, and such. I originally came to Norfolk as a Perry Morgan fellow in ODU's creative writing program. Before that I bummed around quite a bit, writing stacks of books that never got published, hitchhiking, couchsurfing, riding the Greyhound up down and back across this country. Some of my favorite jobs and volunteer gigs have included working on organic farms in Ireland; being first mate on an old sail boat in Holland; working at a long-term home for young men in South Africa; being a journalist and high school teacher in New York and California; washing dishes in Yosemite National Park; teaching English in DC and swimming in Florida; and interning at ESPN in Bristol, which was much less cool that you'd want it to be. My career highlights have been having three of my op-eds run in the New York Times, and being the executive producer of a six-part docu-drama on BET. Because school is cool I have three master's degrees (ODU for MFA, NYU for magazine journalism, University of Connecticut for secondary English education). I live in Norfolk because I believe in its potential. Email your ideas or nicely couched criticism to jesse@altdaily.com.
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