How Michael Vick Should Spend His First Day of Freedom
Words AltDaily Staff
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at 12:15 pm
The Seven Cities’ version of Doctor Dolittle, Michael Vick, completed his sentence yesterday, and is headed home to Hampton.
The region is purring with anticipation…no, wagging our tails…okay let’s be honest: humping booty-looking pillows with excitement.
But here’s the question stuck in our pits: How should Michael Vick spend his first day of freedom here in the Seven Cities?
Mikey, we’re here to help. Here are our top ten suggestions for day one of the rest of your life:
1. Take a nice long milk bath.
2. Head to Cruzers with some friends to sing–what else–Who Let The Dog’s Out?, while doing this dance:
3. Visit Hugh Mungous!
4. Drink the milk bath.
6. Candle his ears; neti pot his nose.
7. Go through his closet, take out all the jeans that no longer fit quite right, and make them into denim skirts. Then, he can use the scraps to make a quilt. A quilt that tells his story.
8. Go back and watch the episode of Friends where they’re trying to move a big couch up a stairwell and Ross just keeps yelling, “Pivot! Pivot! Piv-ot!” because that always made us happy. Or just watching some MFing Frasier, brah!
9. Pick some peanuts in Suffolk.
10. Get organized with his little brother Marcus and learn this:
What else?
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Outside of him funding the kennel that was used for the dog fighting stuff (involving him + 4 other people) and the controversy involved with that; Mike Vick is actually a really nice guy; I’ve met him multiple times and can stand by that preservation. He’s served his time, lost his NFL dream and hopefully learned a shit-ton from it– not to mention still being continuously punished by the media. We all make mistakes; it’s Human. Maybe growing up in the hood bent his views on dog fighting and wasn’t really thinking about the broad moral views on it when the whole thing was going on? There were also reports that he was smoking weed as well. We’ve all been known to act dumb and do dumb shit while high.
Also, if you had properly done your journalistic research, you would have known that Mike has been released from federal prison for some time now. He got off house arrest yesterday.
That blog made reference to Hugh Mongous, had a chubby kid dancing, and then a chubby man dancing with his kid. And you’re holding a precious little baby doll in your commenter picture. Relax on the journalistic research stuff. We were going off the ESPN article.
I guess that is just another good example of how the media/journalists words things to make them sound ‘better’ for the public. I apologize for hinting at any lack journalistic integrity on your (or whomever wrote this article) part for reporting that bit of faux news.
Oh yeah, the comments counter seems to not be working– it said “6 comments” when there were only 2.
I do 1, 4, 6, and 10 all the time. Ask Hannah. We totally have choreographed Irish jigs before.
I just wanted to re-post this comment I posted in reply to someone citing that Mike had ‘psychological issues’ from the Facebook link before readers falsely conclude that I ‘approve of dog fighting’ or just a ‘Vick fan*’ defending him as such:
..as a person whom has gone through having ‘SEVERE’ mental issues, I don’t feel Mike Vick has anything remotely ‘severe’ going on with him psychologically.
Fighting animals such as chickens and dogs has occurred historically and occurs currently in several cultures/countries around the world. If you read about Mike’s childhood you will find that he grew up in impoverished circumstances where crime was prevalent. You can also read from various sources that dog fighting operations in the US mostly occur in conjunction with other crimes such as drug dealing, gang violence, etc. I am neither a psychologist or a sociologist nor do I claim to be, but the Michigan State University College of Law’s Animal Legal and Historical Center’s article on dog fighting states that ‘children that grow up exposed to it are conditioned to believe that the violence is normal.’
I believe rehabilitation & ‘resensitising’ him would be a better method for him to understand and learn from the atrocity rather than through continual ostracism.
*I do not follow American football outside of watching the finals in the last few years the Pittsburgh Steelers made it as my family are fans and I have family in Pittsburgh. Also I have worked with Mike and his family on various creative projects and have interacted with them on a personal level, which I am able to speak of his character through experience.