Thanks for tuning in to my first program! I believe we’ve met; my name is Ty Bliss. At times, I’ve been the ratty looking crack-head parked outside your house, stealing your internet. Usually, I’m the annoying customer in front of you at the Kroger: using each piece of my metal change like a hogshead in a French barricade; blocking any and all interaction between your groceries and the bar-code scanner. I’ve pointlessly harassed you at your job, I’m responsible for the noise, the smell, and I suspect (even I’m not completely sure) that quivering metallic clang that wakes you up every morning, seven days a week, ’bout 3am. From time to time, I’ll be the guy who said something creepy to you in the hall, or if you’re lucky, your psycho-ex. 

My point is, you don’t want to get to know me and you shouldn’t! So to make things easier on both of us I’ll be shrouding the bulk of my character in metaphors, hyper- links, analogies and symbols which I will try hard to slip in to short stories, essays by fictional characters, short films and crossword puzzles. If I feel the call of the blogger; the onanistic urge to do that Andy Rooney crap currently constipating the information super colon, I might do it, but I’ll feel just horrible!

And while I am a young writer taking advantage of my new fangled communication tools to broadcast my thoughts and ideas to a larger public, know this: my goal is to create not just unique content but novel content so if you’re looking for unimaginative, uninformed, quips on pop culture from a giant masturbating douche bag, type anything into Google and feel lucky (I am familiar with the majority of my colleagues here at seven cities and I’m telling you: there will be nothing unimaginative or uninformed anywhere on this site). My content will be about my community, my country, politics, current events, pop-culture…a range of things, but the message might take some digging to get to. People like me, who find this fun, or people who aren’t concerned with message but just like a good, funny story, should enjoy this approach.

Bear in mind, as high as I’ve set the goals for this thread, I am fully aware of my newbie status here on the web. This blog is more of a learning experience than an instructing one. I will be new to a lot of the styles I attempt. I will be creating far more content then I have, up to this point, been unused to creating at a time. I will make rookie mistakes and glaring punctuation errors. I might even screw up and write something terribly derivative of a work I’ve never read. If I turn your stomach, write a crummy satire, do something you could have done better, I’d love it if you used that cool comments section and leave something constructive. You can be a little mean if it’s witty.

So, in conclusion I am a youth starting out in the writing business, hoping to contribute something unique to the blogosphere and something different and distinct but wholly complementary to the 24 Seven Cities website. In short my mission is to create something novel. And to kick things off I have a puzzle for you. If you’re a resident of the Norfolk, Virginia area, you’ll do great! If you aren’t, you’ll have to do some Norfolk research. Try not to get too excited learning about all of our tasty restaurants! 

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I’ll learn the PDF thing for the next post.