First of all,

tonight we have the second installment of Norfology Nights, held at Crackers in Riverview. It’ll be a mix of a meeting of underground activists, a church raising, and the kind of parties our parents used to throw when we’d sneak around and greedily slurp down the backwash left in their glasses of Chardonnay and gin. Here’s my hype. You’ll want to make love to everyone in that room, all the boys and all the girls, I swear to God.

Friday August 27th

from ECSC.

East Coast Surf Championships

The shredding goes through the weekend. Surfing is such a beautiful, peaceful sport, and this is a big deal. Check it out, homie.

Some Like It Hot @ The Hermitage

Shown on the back lawn. I’m giving The Hermitage a special shout-out because last weekend I snuck onto the grounds and made myself at home after hours, had a nice little picnic. You want to arrest me for loving too hard? THEN ARREST ME, DAMN IT.

“Critical Mass” Bike Ride

There should be one of these Friday. 6pm at Blair Middle for a fun group ride around these streets that we own.

KISS @ VB Amphitheater

A local band, Seven Ten Oil, won a contest to open for KISS. That’s cooler than a cat in the icebox.

Pour some sugarfoot on me.

FunkFest featuring Sugarfoot’s Ohio Players, the Dazz Band, and ConFunkShun.

‘Funk’ could be every word in the sentence other than prepositions and it could still almost mean something.

Funk funked on funk funking funk, funkly. Funk!

Tidewater Art Alliance Opening

Portlock Gallery, 3815 Bainbridge Blvd., Chesapeake, ph: 757-502-4901.

“City Center at Oyster Point Final Free Friday Night Concert by the Fountain of the summer: 5:30-8:30 with “Chasing Arrows”

THIS IS ON THE PENINSULA.

Whispering Winds & Pan Am Down @ Taphouse Norfolk.

My super nice and talented friend Thom is in Whispering Winds. His super nice sister is also… uhm… super nice.

Saturday August 28th

Fun joy good happy evening presents toys kissing friendship.

Party at the Pier

It benefits Equality Virginia. If you go to this and don’t make a keeper friend I will give you $4 from my own pocket.

10th Annual Norfolk Latino Music Festival

“The sun goes down, the stars come out, and the largest outdoor dance floor in Hampton Roads heats up…”

I’m pretty into Town Point park meself.

End of the Summer Art Exhibit

I support this because it takes place somewhere so lovely as to be called “The Center for Prayer and Spiritual Growth.”

“Jetstars” and “Laika Roulette”

At Ghent’s Taphouse. If you don’t go to this, consider checking out the Hampton Taphouse, which is rad as my dad when he wasn’t beating me bad.

THE PAWN SHOP LIFTERS LIVE RECORDING

Prettty rockin.

Kayaking with the Dolphins

They warn of “difficulties.” One can only imagine the horrors presented when kayaking with dolphins.

Sunday August 29th

Seawall Art Show in Portsmouth

This goes on Saturday too. Take that ferry, Larry.

Five Points Community Farm Market – Crop Mob

If you have never pulled something out of the ground, ran it under some cold water from the tap, and then eaten it, please go to this. You need to go to this. Our relationship between ourselves and the land and our food is one worth cultivating.

The country is a beautiful place. (This is not the farm.) (Photo | John Suarez)

“Join Norfolk’s First Ever Crop Mob! crop mob (noun): an event where volunteers with any level experience, gather at a small farm and donate their time to help local family farmers make agricultural improvements. (cropmob.org)

We will be meeting at the Five Points Community Farm Market at 9am, and heading over to Batten Bay Farms (http://battenbayfarm.com/aboutus.aspx). We plan on working for 4 hours.  Farmer Danny Byrum is in his first year of supplying a CSA and needs some extra help preparing his fields for the fall and winter plantings. We are looking for 10-15 dedicated individuals ready to descend on the farm and help him complete what must feel like a monumental task, but with our help can be done quickly in one day.

Please RSVP to bird.bryn@gmail.com to participate. We need to know how many people will be attending.”

Grand Illumination Parade Applications Available

This isn’t until November, but you have to sign up now if you want to enter a float or carry a giant balloon creature. I was in this last year. One of my best nights in Hampton Roads, easy peasey. Here’s what I wrote about it.

Contact Noel Gramlich, Director of Special Events at 757-623-1757 or ngramlich@downtownnorfolk.org.

GIRL, I NEVER LOVED ONE LIKE YOU.