The 757 Singles-Plex
Single in the 757. And lovin' it.
Words Mira Boykin
Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I’ve both heard and lodged the same old complaint: There’s no real “dating scene” in this area. Where do all the single people hang out?
As if there’s some Singles-Plex brimming with a colorful and diverse array of available, interesting and, perhaps, wildly attractive single men and women. In fact, when I sat down to write to you, today, I began by asking where all you single people had gone.
Then, I thought again.
Instead, I’d like to go ahead and get accountable. I’d like to admit: I haven’t really put a lot of effort into “putting myself out there” and creating the culture I seek. After my last relationship ended, I responded by putting myself back “in here.” So, now I’m ready to get out and get me some and, truthfully, my initial action was to feign ignorance, blame the system and push my singular-ness onto someone or, in this case, the city of Norfolk’s shoulders. There’s nowhere to go! Stomp. Hands on hips. Oh well!
In the words of my mother, “That ain’t gonna cut it.”
I actually believe in the power of positive thinking and so, on that thread, and in that vein, I’d like to charge forward. I think there is a lot going on in this area, not just Norfolk, but Hampton Roads, in general. I think there are little miniature Singles-Plexes (did I just say that?) being formed, as we speak. But I? Have no earthly clue where the hell they are. So, I have an idea.
At the bottom of this page, you’ll find a lovely little section called “Comments.” I’d like you to take a moment and briefly tell me where you’re going, what you’re doing, what’s hip, hot and happening and what’s basically just sucking a hell of a lot of wind. I promise to review all of this information and I will personally take my merry ass to at least 75 percent of the locations, events, shindigs, etc mentioned. I reserve the right to 1) not wear makeup to the gym, 2) not bust out my glittery halter-tops and glow stick headdresses, circa 1997 and 3) not wear my prom dress to Harris Teeter. But I will go on and try some new things, get out there and play, have fun and experiment. I mean, shit, why the hell not? I’ve already whined on to you for this long. You can’t help it! You love me! Or, you will, but damn, you’ll have to meet me first. So, send me somewhere!
And please! Join me! We’re going to have to gather together on this one, or it defeats the whole stinking purpose. I’m not telling you all this because I’m hating on my married and coupled friends’ company. I’m not telling you this because I’ve got gobs of free time and nothing to do. Actually, I’m really sort of booked to my gills and, well, I don’t feel like sleuthing it all out. Really? I’m asking out of complete and utter laziness. I want the answers and I don’t particularly feel like Nancy Drew-ing my way around town to get them. So? I’m putting my work on you.
I’ll get us started. Here’s an example of what I’d put in the comments, if I were you:
“Mira! You’re amazing, beautiful and perfect in every way!” (Just kidding on that one, but if you’d like to, feel free to compliment me, unabashedly). Okay, for real:
“I am 28 years old. I’m a publicist for a large hotel chain. I live in downtown Norfolk. I love to do yoga every Sunday at Angela Phillips Yoga Studio. It’s packed full of fine women, so if I were a guy, I’d get in there. When I go out, I like to get home before the witching hours, so I tend to like drinks and snacks out with my gaggle at a nice, local restaurant. I almost always sit at the bar. Some of my favorites? Pasha, Luna Maya, Bardo, Press 626 and Empire. My girlfriends and I think that the tamales at Luna Maya are to die for. Also, I love free wi-fi, so that I can work off site. I’m not big into coffee shop working, so I tend to go to Azar’s or Press. My favorite place in Norfolk, right now, is the park on the water along the Elizabeth River Trail. It’s just beyond the entrance to the midtown tunnel, tucked behind the parking garage they’re building on Brambleton, beside The Red Cross and Harbor’s Edge. I love chillaxin’ in the park, although I rarely meet new people there. Still, it’s great. Try it!”
As you can see, I’m just offering up a little insight into where I am and where I go. No biggie. Not asking you to divulge your secret hideouts or anything, but if you want to, sure, that’ll do. That’s all. I’m really just hoping to gather a little information, right now. I’m testing a theory:
We’re not all sitting around with our fingers up our noses, for crying out loud. (And if you are, please keep it to yourself. I’m not talking to you.) So, please. Let it out and let’s make this little site a gathering of the savvy souls, a temporary Singles-Plex of sorts. Thank you for your time in advance. Your services are greatly appreciated.
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First, with that very detailed map of which part of the waterfront where you hang out, any potential suitor has to be blind, deaf or stupid not to find you. Seriously folks: with Mira not only do you get a beauty but one with a generous side of brains! Hello: interesting conversation!!! You don’t find that very often here…
Yes, there’s no singles scene here that anybody can tell, and although somehow a bit of a drag there are a few events that could potentially bring people interested in meeting other singles for more than a beer and chance to get laid. Green Drinks is an event which is a worldwide get-together for people interested in all things Green, so you have cute women intersted in saving the planet and hot dudes that are doing something perhaps via their professions..Unfortunately in this apathetic corner of the State as usual is a very small group of people…I’ve seen Green Drinks in NY and LA, Boston, Chicago, and those are like true meat markets (ok, that’s the other extreme from Virgina), there are sooo many people and so many of them actually become interested in pursuing these acquaintances…The Chrysler events maybe? A citizens brigade of some sort? Anybody??
Mira: “Singles-Plex”? Seriously…..
Anon:
I’d like to start by thanking you for the compliment. As I mentioned, I’m definitely going to use this particular column to up my self esteem a little. Shit. Why not?
And hell yes! Green drinks organizations are the bomb:
Here’s a list of locations and dates:
Virginia Beach: Croc’s Eco Bistro in VB-Every third Thursday from 6 pm -whenever
Chesapeake: aloft Hotel in Chesapeake-Every first Thursday from 530 pm -whenever
Norfolk: The Boot in Norfolk-Every second Wednesday from 530 pm -whenever
Peninsula: Marker 20 in Hampton-Every fourth Tuesday from 6 pm – whenever
PS-Don’t hate on the “Singles-Plex!” C’mon, you know, like a multiplex, like a…? Too much of a stretch?
Just so you know, the second anonymous comment is mine, but I swear. The first one is some other anonymous soul who forgot to sign in! I swear!!
yep, that was me…!
Oh my god. It won’t let me log myself in! Am I Mira yet? Or am I still Anonymous #2? This is weirding me out!
It seems to me that it’s not the place or location where to find single people for possible dating. A person can be in the mix of a room of single people and still not find a date. If a person is looking for a “someone else” they might want to take a look at their attitude first.
Ok, my suggestions: Gold’s Gym is always buzzing with attractive people (by default, some of them have to be single); Hot House Yoga in Ghent; Saturday nights at the Wave if you’re gay or gay-friendly (hey, we can’t forget about our ‘mos); Red Dog patio in warmer months; any number of straight dance clubs like the Granby Theater; my apartment on any given night of the week (!!); Total Wine stores sometimes seem to have attractive, younger people in their aisles; and you already mentioned most of my favorite tapas/bistros/restos where singles seem to thrive, but I would add Catch 31 at the Oceanfront to that list…it’s a TOTAL scene there…and I mean that in a good way.
While you all have been focusing on Nah-fuck, I’ve built my own singles meat rack, or racks, across the water in Hampton. The goal when finding a mate is to locate an insecure person who is much worse off than you are. That’s why I suggest starting at The Treasure Chest: 1304 E Pembroke Ave, Hampton, VA 23669. The food is great, and the booze is cheap. Whether you are searching for a man or a woman or something in between, you will have your pick of unwed mothers, underemployed construction workers, meth heads, and my favorite, welfare queens.
After that, I like to move down the street to the Bukroe Motel: 1512 E Pembroke Ave Hampton, VA 23663. There’s usually free needles available in the bathroom trash as well as unlimited bed bugs. Some of the friendships I’ve made there will last me a lifetime.
Lastly, NASA. I usually don’t like to stoop that low, but desperate times call for desperate measures. NASA men are arrogant and pleasantly full of right wing propaganda. The women are full of insecurity and baggage, just what a sensitive artist type needs.
Hope this helps, Mira, and I’ll see you at the Treasure Chest.
DPK
Hey Mira,
I love the places that you’ve cited. I think they are great on a multitude of levels. If they haven’t worked for you so far, though, I would try different things.
Try going places by yourself, instead of with a protective group! Check out some interest-based outings, like through Meetup.com…I’m pretty sure they have a vegan interest group ongoing that you might meet someone of like beliefs, which I believe from your previous columns are very important to you. Keep accepting blind dates!
In any case, keep up the positive attitude =) You’re intelligent and attractive, and people like to be around that!
Craigslists’ local Casual Encounters!
Mira, as you know, Jess and I met at Fair Grounds, which I think is an awesome place to meet someone. It’s not a bar or the internets or the gym, which I think are the typical places to meet people these days. I know you’re not really into the coffee shop atmosphere, but for those of you who follow Mira’s column and might also be looking for love–these spots, for me, seem to attract the kind of people I feel like I could like: Fair Grounds and aLatte (both Norfolk), Badass Cafe (VB), The Coffee Shoppe (formerly The Daily Grind, Portsmouth), Bean There (Chesapeake) and Aromas (Newport News).
I also think High Street in Portsmouth is really happening. Longboards seems very cool, Montgomery Grill seems very class, and Biergarten is always a good time. Plus, I think a drunken ferry ride home to downtown could be super sexy.
The Boot, when they’re having good music, on a Friday or Saturday night. It tends to be a bit heavy on the hipsters, but there are inevitably interesting people to talk to somewhere. Particularly so toward the end of the night, after everyone has mysteriously gotten much drunker than they planned. Find out when the catchiest bands are playing, and dance your heart out – I think the sexiest thing about a person is confidence, and so many people are afraid to dance in public!
Okay, okay, I’m NOT single. But I’m always on the lookout for opportunities for my single girlfriends. I can tell you that there was a whole bunch of good-looking single guys helping us setup for the SPIRIT ART SHOW at THE WAREHOUSE IN WEST GHENT last night, so I assume they will also be at the opening reception this Friday night at 7. Art is an easy conversation starter. I’d say thats your best bet this weekend.
First, Mira! You’re amazing, beautiful and perfect in every way!
Second, have you been watching How I Met Your Mother?
There are actually beautiful all around Hampton Roads, hippies, preppies, co-eds, young milfs, cougars etc.- the selection is not that bad. I just noticed that guys around here have no game. They all think if a girl is a cute young innocent looking blonde, she must be “the one”, untouchable, out of their league etc. Or guys get “one-itis” here, they orbit around some hottie who uses them for free drinks, rides & bail money on occassion. The trick to picking up hotties, even if your short, old and bald is in the first 3 seconds of eye contact – say something, hi usually works, then right away compliment a flaw she has “that gap between your teeth makes you cute, that mole distinguishes you” now her anti-slut defense is down (ASD) and you can tell her jokes,show her magic tricks or do some astrology (chick crack). when she asks what you do, never be serious, keep her guessing. tell her you refill zippo lighters, work for the city refilling toilet paper etc. Now shes disarmed, she finds you entertaining & enjoyable, then tell her you have to go, “how can we keep this going” at that point you number close and got her name and phone number. Never ask for her name, never buy her a drink, you demote yourself doing that. She has her orbiters who do that, buy buy buy & never get any. You guys are lucky i am married and out of the scene. My wife is a model half my age and I got no money, no looks, etc.
Aside from the issue of “where to find someone” shouldn’t we also address the issue of our “casual” dating culture and the lack of communication skills (or balls) on the part of men/women to approach each other when/if the opportunity presents itself to meet a potential partner?
Ouch. Can of worms. Open: discuss!
Delicious….
I am contemplating whether or not to offer courses in “singles gaming” for all those dudes who lack “balls”. I can’t blame them, since we were kids, we were led to believe that if a girl is hot, we must bow to her. After living in Brazil, Eastern Europe, India and the South Eastern USA, I come to realize there are more hot chicks than ugly ones. In fact, in some countries like Estonia, they are everywhere and even can get annoying. In fact, I am close to 40 and I never dated a girl over 25, the eggs are bad after that age. My wife now is 23 and we are very happy and have a lot in common.
Older men always have something in common with younger women since Joseph and Mary. (in todays world Joseph would have been in jail since mary was around 16). What the common ground is not music, clothes but more biology. – survive and replicate. Women are pre-wired for this and when they see a chance to do it, the biological wiring in their head overrides all the feminism and career stuff and you can bed them. It explains in many cases why young hotties have boyfriends in their late 30′s – not looks but stability. Not fun and wild but decisive behavior.
Once you see that beauty is not rare but rather abundant, your confidence rises. Please reply if you are interested in a course for around $500 where I give you dating tips, approaches, canned routines, bar magic tricks, self confidence guides and a reading list. It would be a one day 6 hour course. Much cheaper than stylelife, mystery method etc.
you all are so bananas brilliant. not only do i have a list of fun new places and scenarios to try…but i also have the bizarre and interesting opportunity to work with Hansa and his fucking fabulous dating genius.
and no. i have not been watching how i met your mom. but since you decided to tell me what a starlet you think i am, i’m on it!
MWAH!
keep it coming!
More dating tips…My methods don’t work on Mundane girls only the 9′s and above. Not only do guys have a tendancy in bars to screen out the fat/ugly chicks or save them for later till they been shot down by all others, but also they screen out those super hot ones they feel are unapproachable. You know the one who is tall-thin well dressed and really stands out. Thats the chick you have to go for.
This is what goes on inside the head of the girl you feel is unapprocahable. She has been getting hit on since she started freshmen year in high school. She has been approached and bedded with “your the most beautiful girl in the world, will you marry me etc by the time she was 17″. Shes over it, she knows shes hot. She has built a wall around herself called the Anti-Slut Defense, she either responds when a guy says “your so hot” by getting free stuff or blowing him off, but she never gives it up anymore. You need to master the “neg”. You say hi, then right away tell her she has an eyelash in her eye or something in her teeth. Now shes off guard, even trying to prove herself to you. This is the opener. Try it, you will be amazed how well it works.
What I don’t like is the apparent lack of belief that a (straight)guy can buy a girl a drink and it NOT mean “I want to fuck you.”. Why can’t I just buy someone a drink, have some great conversation, and then go about my business…?
ANYplace to go is awesome. Go to the mall, the park, gym, art class, library, restaurant, bar, etc etc…. but be approachable, and learn to approach. You can’t have some “line” that you say and expect it to pick up chicks. If you going to break the ice, make it personable- something relating to that person or something that just happened that said person is aware of…..