Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, better known as “That girl with the poof who got punched by a dude on Jersey Shore,” will be partying at Peabody’s in VB next Friday.

There's baby girl.

We wanted to do a preview interview with her, but apparently she’s too big for her britches and only gives interviews to the likes of MTV and NBC. Since we already had our questions put together we thought we’d share them with you, our readers. Please give your imagined answers in the comment section.

1. Oftentimes in the show you’d be standing up wearing jeans, and yet they would still need to blur out your crotch area. Respond.

2. It has been reported that you and your fellow cast members are negotiating to be paid $10,000 an episode for season two of the show. I totally agree that you deserve that. My question: Do you think I have a sweet smile?

3. In the last episode of the show The Situation seduced you by saying he wanted a bite of your “Snickers.” Please turn that scene into a folk song.

4. There’s been a lot of murmurs in the Beltway about you being next in line for Secretary of State. What are your thoughts on Bahrain?

5. You’ve Snookied my life. Please apologize.

6. Justin Ballard, a promoter of the Peabody’s event, said your agent “is coming (to the event) because he is afraid (you) will get drunk and give an interview and not remember.” What are your secrets for staying tan all year long?

7. I apologize on behalf of all men for that jerk-off hitting you. You didn’t deserve that. You’re a sweet girl. Don’t listen to the haters. Even me. My question: If you could get into a time machine and go back to the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, do you think the air, like, smelled different?

8. You define your perfect man as, and I paraphrase, “great-looking, buff, tan and a Guido. Cuz, you know, I’m a Guidette, so…” What if you met a great-looking, buff, tan Hebrew? Could he sweep you off of your pretty little feet or are you anti-Semitic?

9. After a long night of dancing to techno and showing off your lady-parts do you ever go home, take your hair down and maybe find something living in that bun-thing?

10. Last question, but it’s an important one: What do you believe in your heart that the future holds for emoticons?