Obama Day Part One was a transcendent night for me (and I have drank more before, more times than I care to admit or can count anyway, so it wasn’t just sweet lady Pabst talking). What was wonderful was a sense of communion as red became blue (bad for complexions, good for states). After years of a common malaise and pessimism, an atmosphere of hope and belonging became contagious and I found myself embracing people I’m usually a distant prig to for no good reason.

I was not alone in this intoxication with hope and alcohol. My closest friends who can usually go blow for blow with me in neurosis and depression were similarly uplifted. We could feel it on the street, in the air, and beneath the surface. It was our time to gloat insufferably. This golden feeling persisted for all of us generally until the next pay period, wave of bills, or eviction, one of which came for all of us within a week or two.

Such is life or bipolar disorder (six of one half dozen of another), a wild oscillation between luminous infinite and dank nothingness. One week we were bright beacons of Obama’s America on a mission to lead a new age of free love and subsidized medicine. By the next week, we were back to just being poor.

As in cinematography, life needs both shadow and light if we are to make anything out of it. Recently (appx. 8 yrs.) it feels like way to much of the former. I want desperately to get back to that fleeting euphoric feeling of election night (yes, I have dealt with addiction before, but now Barack is my anti-drug). I encourage everybody to take my friend Brendan’s advice tonight, and moderate your moderation. That means that the best thing we can collectively do to embody hope is to make a personal commitment, wherever we are, to engage in pansexual booze-drenched bacchanalian freak-fests. Yes, that’s my proposed solution for most things, but I mean it more than usual this time.

There is plenty going on in the well-moneyed area closest to me. Tidewater NOW, HROC, and Phem will be percolating the New Belmont like it was old times. For uplift and uprock, stop by the Taphouse after 10 for a nightcap of boogiedown provided by Berk and Cornbread. It should be one of the best nights of my life, but unfortunately I’m effectively broke (as opposed to the “broke” people talk about when they only have $3000 in savings and $1000 left on their favorite credit card, I actually don’t have money right now).

So what does that have to do with you? Maybe everything. For this is your opportunity, dear reader, to accompany me and pay for my inaugural debauchery! Yes, I know, you are very lucky. No promises, but if this goes well, you might get luckier than you ever dreamed. It’s all about hope tonight.

Not to be modest, but at a towering 5’9″ and a slender 190 lbs, I am sexier than anybody I know. I wouldn’t say I have a messianic complex, but my beard certainly does. Although much of this blog has featured me complaining about being poor, I have limitless earning potential. I could do anything I wanted to if I set my mind to it, but I’m far too humble to do that. Some people say you can’t put a price on potential, but I’m setting that price as whatever my bar tab winds up being tonight. I’ll get drunk on bourbon and PBR, and you can get drunk on my potential. Plus we can both take bumps of hope throughout the night to keep our spirits up.  I am a progressive gentleman.  Say something progressive and I will do you one better even if it becomes completely asinine.  Here’s a sample dialog:

You:  I think convicts should have the right to vote.

Me:  Baby, I think only convicts should have the right to vote.

Long walks on the beach…well, I’ve been around beaches enough and it is kind of cold, but I’m not averse to them if that’s your thing. Cozy evenings by the fire? Well, as Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez once said, I love to burn things.

So, are you my special sugar companion at the dawn of a new age? Will you be that special somebody (or if a group of you wants to pitch in together for this, I like rolling deep, too) to pay for my boundless sense of optimism tonight? Will you inaugurate with me?