InBev’s attempt to upgrade American beer over the past year has been hilarious:

Bud Light Golden Wheat? Tuscan Orange Grapefruit Michelob Ultra? What’s next? Cilantro Cotton Candy Busch Ice Light? Eric Idle said it best: “American beer is a lot like making love in a row boat—it’s fucking close to water.”

In Hampton, whilst we do have the Taphouse and the St. George brewery, local beer lovers will be delighted to receive an early Christmas present: The Pub is newly located in the Peninsula Town Center next to Barnes & Noble. They pour 142 Stone—a ton—of beer, like the Idle-inspired Monty Python Holy Grail Ale, or Harviestoun’s Bitter & Twisted, as well as a rotating crew of cask-conditioned beers. They practice a non-condescending way of teaching patrons about beer, which isn’t always the case in such places. After all, wasn’t it Plato who said “He was a wise man who invented beer”?

The unwritten rule of brew pubs is no matter how much beer you have or how good it is, you live and die by your food. And The Pub’s food may end up outshining their beer and soul-watering selection of single-malt scotches, or Uisgebeatha: Water of Life. Starters range from Shrimp Tempura to Goat Cheese Dip to Fried Pickles that are positively carnal. As one might guess, they also offer Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, Shepherd’s Pie, and waitresses in bawdy short skirts. (The waiters wear kilts.) Take-away is available, but it is a shame that can’t include a few pints of Bellhaven Twisted Thistle, or a Beer Sampler, which costs $6.50 and includes four 5-ounce samples of any beer.

The interior looks exactly as pubs do in merry old England, and the patio fills up with folks at lunchtime. The Pub’s Beverage Bible is full of great info for novice beer drinkers, like the difference between a lager and a pilsner, as well as great quotes like this one from Frank Zappa: “You can’t be a country unless you have a beer and an airline—it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” The Pub isn’t cheap—the burger is nine bucks—but any place that can bring back memories like this is worth it: Sitting in London’s Shakespeare Pub drinking pints all day long, and filling page after page of my journal with scribblings. Drinking one pint at all thirteen pubs in a little town called Mumbles. Sitting in front of Abbey Road Studios listening to Abbey Road in its entirety twice. Running through Kensington Gardens at three in the morning after a long night of dancing.

The Pub originated in Cincinnati in 2001, and they opened a restaurant in Fredericksburg earlier this year. While my status as a Liberal means I am suspicious of chains, The Pub gets it right. They create an authentic experience many Americans will never be able to have.

Here’s to many pints in the future, or as Lord Byron put it, “Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda the day after.”

The Pub
4200 Kilgore Avenue
Hampton, VA 23666
757-838-2748
thebritishpubs.com
Hours and Specials are still in flux.