Ben Stiller’s character in the new Noah Baumbach film Greenberg is an egocentric, unbearable jerk, and everyone seems to know it but him.

He’s come out to L.A. after a stint in the sanitarium in order to “do nothing” and to look after his (somehow) jerkier brother’s gorgeous home (the kind so beautiful you have no choice but to be unhappy in it). If Greenberg is the hero, then his ultimate war is with himself; we spend the whole movie rooting for him to–simply and sadly–make it through an interpersonal interaction without an outburst of profanities.

It’s an uncomfortable movie to watch. Time after time Greenberg’s old friends and new flames try to be there for him, to let his steam release slowly, but inevitably he blows his top over mundane things like a singing waiter, or at the culmination of a boring story that doesn’t reflect his values. You don’t even want to slap Greenberg. You also don’t want to help him. You just want him to go back to his life as a carpenter in New York… or anywhere else, as long as it’s off-screen.

Florence.

The film is saved by the understated strength of the supporting characters, and the actors who play them. And the actors’ chests. Greta Gerwig, who plays what counts as the love interest, is shown topless twice, and both times felt gratuitous, as if Baumbach was fully aware of just how much he was asking of the viewer to subscribe to Greenberg’s boorishness for 107 minutes, and was tempting us on with boob treats.

Gerwig’s character (the brother’s personal assistant, Florence) was the soul of the movie for me. “I’ve been out of college as long as I’ve been in, and nobody cares if I get up in the morning,” she says before making out with a stranger at an art opening. She is a lost soul with a quick and bursting smile. She’s just the kind of girl you’d like to date if she weren’t always falling for melonheads like Greenberg. In the interest of any parents considering bringing their child to see Greenberg, I give you this spoiler: The film offers us what might be the first sneak attack oral sex in movie history. Florence is more perplexed than turned on as Greenberg engages in what looks more like a challenge on Double Dare than the sharing of any sort of intimate pleasure. “Do you hear a train?” she asks to get out of it.

Greenberg is ultimately relatable and somewhat charming because the characters are all so lost, just like we are (or at least I am). “I don’t believe that things happen for a reason,” Greenberg says. “But maybe me being out here right now… it’s happening for a reason.”

It’s an impeccably beautiful sentiment–that everything just might be happening for a reason–and to hear a curmudgeon like Greenberg come to that conclusion gave me hope. “It’s bigger to finally embrace the life you never planned on,” one character says. For me, and I’m sure a lot of you reading, this hit home.

“Do you think you could love me?” Florence asks.

Yes, of course, I wanted to answer on behalf of Greenberg. We’re all lovable. And if we don’t love someone, this movie seems to be trying to teach us, it’s probably just our own egocentric jerkiness getting in the way. Greenberg is an uncomfortable movie, but I took comfort in that sweet little truth.

Rhys Ifans‘ acting is also very good, I just couldn’t find a place to mention it. The movie is showing all this week at The Naro, who is a kind friend to AltDaily.