Sunday, March 7, 2010
Live Blog: Oscars with the Serrano Women
Words Hannah Serrano
Sunday, March 7th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
The commentators:
My sister, Sarah;
my niece, Lily
my mom, Rose
and yours truly.
8:10 My mom just said Zack Ephron is the new Tom Cruise. “Another short one.” She’s also pleased that Kathy Ireland is letting her belly show. (Is she pregnant?)
“Her enterprise now is worth a billion,” she reports. “A billion. More than Martha Stewart.”
8:13 My sister and Lily just arrived. We all love what J.Lo is wearing. A pretty pink confection.
8:15 Whoa! How orange does Sarah Jessica Parker think she needs to be?
“Nobody cares about Matthew Broderick except for me,” my sister just said. “I love him in The Producers. ‘My blue blaaannkettt!”
8:16 “Everyone looks old in hi-def,” says Sarah.
8:22 “She mastered comedy?!” my sister says, repeating how Kathy Ireland just introduced Miley Cyrus. “I don’t know about that!”
8:32 We love Doogie. I seriously want Neil Patrick Harris to be my gay best friend.
8:38 Whoa, Alec is really sweating.
8:43 We love the transitions between celebrities/jokes, ie. “Oh, look there’s Matt Damon.”
8:47 “If Christoph Waltz doesn’t win this…” I said. “You will no longer believe in the Oscars,” my mom finished.
8:48 I still believe.
8:58 The clip of Up alone shows how amazing its animation is…. My mom and neice are freaking out about Up‘s win.
9:20 Eish, we barely recognized Molly Ringwald. And yet, Matthew Broderick, standing there right next to her, still looks the same as he ever did.
9:35 Totally off subject: Fred Durst is now 40 and almost unrecognizable.
9:38 Crazy lady ganked the spotlight from the gentleman awarded for Music of Prudence. And nobody really seems to care or notice.
9:51 The loveliest of the ladies, we think: Zoe Saldana and Rachel McAdams.
9:56 Is Queen Latifah gay? My sister believes she is.
10:02 Well, well, well. Mo’nique. Surprise surprise. Ugh, and what a self-indulgent speech.
10:15 Dang! Sandy Powell, is as my sister just described: “Totally on point.” The three-time costume design winner’s hair, hat, belt, brooch, dress; everything looks awesome.
10:17 On the other hand, Charlize Theron’s dress looks god awful. As my mom said, “It looks like someone is holding her boobies.”
10:24 We think Kristen Stewart is both hot and plain. Like, hot for a plain girl.
10:27 We are very appreciative of the horror movie montage. Excellent.
10:34 Seriously, John Travolta? Jeans?! I mean, who do you think you are?
10:40 My dad just came home, blocked the screen for a second as he came in to greet my mom, and she yelled, “Move, it’s my boyfriend!” referring to James Taylor.
10:50 Sam Worthington: that’s my boyfriend.
11:07 One of the filmmakers of The Cove just held up a sign asking you to text “DOLPHIN” to 44144. Do that if you love the dolphins.
11:18 The Oscar for best foreign language film went to Argentina. It was announced that this is Argentina’s 6th win or something. Argentina‘s? This is scored by country now? What is this, the Olympics?
11:26 My sister thinks Jeff Bridges looks like Colonel Sanders. My dad says General Custer.
11:31 Though it’s no surprise, Mr. Bridges deserves this award completely. The Dude abides.
11:41 I’m sorry, I just can’t take Sandra Bullock seriously enough to think she oughta win Best Actress. I might piss off a bunch of Miss Congeniality fans, but can anyone say “poor-man’s Julia Roberts”?
11:44 Ixnay on the Gabourey Sidibe.
11:49 Well, shut my mouth and call me Sally. Sandra Bullock, best actress. Above Meryl F-ing Streep. Hmm.
Great speech, though. Funny and humble.
11:53 Looks like Barbra Streisand put on a granny dress, then pulled the cleavage down low so that she could be a little sexy. How displeasing.
11:55 “The time has come,” says Babs. Kathryn Bigelow–the first woman to win best director. Inspiring, really. Get it, girl!
11:59 The Hurt Locker wins best picture. Seems Oscar went for substance over style.
“Say goodbye to your bloggers,” says my mom (not that that makes sense, but you know what she means). “I”m going to sleep.”
""
COMMENTS
Facebook comments:
ABOUT THE WRITER
"Even though Serranos can be a good deal hotter than the average, their flesh is much thinner so you get a friendly fire rather than a mouthful of afterburn." — Alton Brown
Other posts by Hannah Serrano.
Other posts by Hannah Serrano.
RELATED POSTS
- Reasons To Leave Your House This Weekend | February 1, 2012
- Reasons To Leave Your House This Weekend
- Wednesday Morning Triflin’: Ronald Jenkees, Watch it Grandma, POPTARTS, Tell e’m GloZell…
- Thanksgiving Friday: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas @ The Naro
- Reasons To Leave Your House This Weekend
More Film Posts
RSS
Was there an AltDaily Oscar preview that I missed?
If anyone out there is interested, here are my picks. http://www.aborrowedbedroom.com/2010/03/its-final-countdown-or-oscar-shmoscar.html
how much must baldwin be seething here?
waltzy was supposed to win. just like monique and jeff bridges later. martin and baldwin even did a joke about these consensi earlier. the real question is how shamelessly monique will gush when she collects.
How do you personally feel about Mo’nique, George?
i like her better berating skinny bitches.
shameless.
Carey Mulligan needs to have her nomination revoked for butchering her hair.
She pulls it off.
It looks better than it did a week ago, but it was definitely not the right way for her to go.
I’ll be home in about an hour. There had better be some snackies left.
Hahahehea. Promise there will be.
Zoe Saldana is gorgeous. And I always assumed Queen Latifah was gay, but that she keeps it quiet.
did they slip in a clip of twilight in movies that scare you?
Wait, Twilight doesn’t scare you?
i rilly think the “up” composer (name, somebody?) gave the best acceptance of the night. nice short thing encouraging kids without the support system he had.
Jeff BRIDGES…
yo, jeff bridges is totally not jeff daniels. nor is bill pullman bill paxton nor is keith david david keith.
bullock?! fuck that shit.
they did the right thing.
and she looks great!
that’s bigelow i’m talkin’ ’bout. i’ve been objectifying her all night on facebook.
and the movie’s great, too.
totally agree on that ‘crazy lady’- i was thinking this dude just got shit on by this crazy old bitch that didnt think he was going to say the right things, shit got me mad– other than that, the oscars served its purpose: white noise while i did taxes haha
salon posted this today:
http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/2010/03/07/music_by_prudence_burkett
haha thanks for the link– who to believe? based on the clip, ill just say that the dude took the high road and let her steal limelight– he got the oscar so i cant blame him
I know this is about a month late and no one will read this, but they both received Oscars.