Thursday, February 12, 2009
Boner Jams: Valentines Day Playlist
Words Brendan Kennedy
Thursday, February 12th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
There are those of us who will be spending special time with a certain special someone, and in those times, the mood must be set properly. So, yea, turn down the lights, pour a glass of wine, negotiate the fees required for your particular “party” if necessary (word to the wise, the women from Craigslist actually get angry if you show up at their house with 100 actual roses), and then turn on the music.
When you hook up your high-fi here’s some suggestions.
Marvin Gaye-Falling In Love Again
It wouldn’t be a conversation about music for loving without Mr. Gaye. Now, many of you will say “Brendan, I’d go with ‘Let’s get it On.” At the same time, you’ll also realize that you don’t have a blog. “Let’s Get it On” is a wonderful song, but I believe my selection has amazing instrumentals and grooves, and Marvin Gaye’s voice does wonderful things.
Teddy Pendergrass-Love TKO
This song is pure smoothness. Teddy Pendergrass is a man whose voice is so seductive yet forceful that it may or may not be banned in Kansas. Teddy P is so smooth, he doesn’t know what “the friend zone” is. He may or may not be the only man who could sing a bra strap loose. I may or may not be searching for more things to say about this song, but to be this smooth and slick you’d have to cover yourself in olive oil.
LL Cool J-Hey Lover
Though most of us, when licking our lips and undressing a woman with our eyes look horribly creepy, LL Cool J has made a career out of this. Though you would think such lust would apply to a strictly visual medium, this track was actually recorded in what must be a top secret form of Dolby technology that captures liplicking sexitude with a microphone and can turn women on upon playback.
Bjork-All is love
This may not work with every partner, but this is a beautiful track, and the video is the most turned on I’ve ever been by robots. But pretend I didn’t say that, and I’ll pretend you don’t agree.
Isaac Hayes-The Look of Love
How do you make a song written by one of the 20th century’s most famous and prolific songwriters (Burt Bacharach) better? You give it to Isaac Hayes and let him make love to the track. If you don’t make sweet sweet sweet love within 2 hours of listening to this song with your lover, you’re doing it wrong.
Billy Joel-Just the way you are
Having done a good amount of growing up in Long Island, I’ve listened to a lot of Billy Joel. I’ve always found his ability to write songs that were both musically interesting yet simple while singing heartfelt simple lyrics is kind of a lost art. The man is a much better musician than a driver. This song showcases some of the best parts of those abilities, and damn it ladies, sometimes you just gotta know that you don’t have to fuss… we love you just the way you are.
Erykah Badu-Kiss Me on My Neck
When Erykah Badu, the woman who made Andre 3000 and Common go crazy, wants some neo-soulistic lovin, it’s good for those of us who have ears. Like everyone else, I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I love her.
Black Milk
This song is sexy, but dark. That’s Massive Attack for you, though.
So, now you have a soundtrack, get to listening, and get to loving. Now, what you do to get her to leave afterward, that’s up to you.
It helps if you can do this. Any other suggested tunes?
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ABOUT THE WRITER
Brendan Kennedy graduated from Virginia Tech in 2005, with a degree in English. Since graduation, he has pursued a variety of interests, developing not only as a writer but also as a musician, comedian, cook and amateur filmmaker. Now one of his passions, he began investigating fine food and drink while in college. He currently works for a major Hampton Roads beer distributor and has been brewing his own beers at home since 2004.
Other posts by Brendan Kennedy.
Other posts by Brendan Kennedy.
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You grew up on Long Island too? Who knew. Didn’t Billy write “Just the Way You Are” for his wife — who he shortly thereafter dumped? Or is that just a legend?
BTW, I think you might need a Barry White tune here in case these other subtle ditties don’t do the heavy lifting. :)
sam cooke “cupid”
holiday themed, smooth as satin, relatively harmless to lighten the depravity that might ensue.
marvin gaye “anger”
just as long as we’re ignoring the obvious ones (“got to give it up”) and selecting tracks from the MOST SPITEFUL ALBUM A MAN HAS EVER MADE FOR A WOMAN (“here, my dear”), we might as well go all the way into the creep zone. this is for all the sexually compatible couples who hate each other. go ahead, attack your partner to this one.
ann peebles “i’m gonna tear your playhouse down”
i’m really not in a romantic mood, am i? but damned if this song isn’t sexy. maybe i’m just a masochist, but listining to miss peebles makes me really want her to tear my playhouse down.
al green “love and happiness”
duh. (that’s right kids, i’m going to start taking the time to type out the word “duh”. the internet is making me stupid.)
leigh’s right, i would take ll out of there and replace him with some love unlimited.
zapp or kraftwerk “computer love”
the bee gees or aaliyah “more than a woman”
two titles shared by two different songs that always do the trick.
a tribe called quest “electric relaxation”
so smooth it even makes phife joking about ejaculating on his lover’s couch sound sweet. also might be one of about 23 songs where q tip suggests that he is enthusiastic and skilled where cunnilingus is concerned.
bjork medley! “the dull flame of desire” “hidden place” “joga” “enjoy” “big time sensuality” “hyperballad” “headphones” “5 years” “who is it”
donna summer “i feel love”
so do, i, donna. so. do.
i.
isaac hayes “walk on by”
the man can interpret bacharach, can’t he? does this one much differently than dionne warwick. the track that made rza and ghostface cry.
talking heads “this must be the place”
best love song of the ’80s
de la soul “eye know”
daisies and steely dan samples, just the way my imaginary baby likes ‘em.
telefon tel aviv “nothing is worth losing that”
this is where glitch met sincere r&b, and it surprisingly worked on both mind and body.
des’ree “kissing you”
this is um…cough…ahem…the love theme to baz luhrman’s william shakespeare’s romeo and juliet. i don’t know, i was watching the british office, and david brent’s always talking about des’ree, and now that i think of that…
david brent “if you don’t know me”
just for a laugh, ricky gervais as david brent covering harold melvin. go ahead and follow this one up with “free love freeway” “goin’ home cause my baby’s gone…” “she’s dead!” “no, she’s not dead, gareth!”
prince “little red corvette”
best sex song of the ’80s
sade “by your side”
because i love sade. what?
maxwell “ascension (don’t ever wonder)”
works pretty well for sex or weed and even better for both.
tricky “feed me”
haunting album cut from “maxinquaye” sung by muse martina.
portishead “glory box” “magic doors”
beth gibbons singing about her privates, and doing a much better job of it than i usually do.
gregory isaacs “night nurse”
what’s up, ED?
Great Blog, BTW you took my idea, LOL
Anyway, let me give you my short list:
Roxy Music – Slave To Love Something about the combination of the music and Bryan Ferry’s voice just make this song some kind of haunting to me.
The Deftones – No Ordinary Love: The Sade remake hits me much harder than the orginial, and the orginial was my and my ex-girlfriends song. Sometimes, a rock band can take a softer, more seductive song and by giving it that driving rock beat, even slowed down, just gives the song something extra, more powerful. Just awesome.
Toad The Wet Sprocket – I Will Not Take These Things For Granted: Having loved and lost, this song reminds me of all the things that I didnt pay attention to the first, second and even third time around. It’s a song that I play in my head when I think about my current girlfriend. You know, I’m trying to do it right this time. (Wish me luck)
Bloodstone – Natural High: My favorite early 70′s soul song. While I love the Stylistics, the Delfonics and The Ojays, Bloodstone takes the best of all the old soul hits and wraps it up into what is the best love song to come out of that era in my opinion.
Johnny Ace – Pledging My Love: This was my wedding song with my second wife. A number 1 hit from 1955, it hit the top after the singer killed himself playing russian roulette right before he was to go onstage on Christmas Eve in 1955. Everything that a haunting love song from the 50′s should be.
I could come up with 100′s more but why? Give these five a listen and that should give you a good direction to go depending on your mood. It will at the very least, let your loved one know how you feel. Happy Valentine’s Day all.
Otis Redding – I’ve Been Loving You Too Long
Led Zeppelin – Thank You
Enigma – MCMXC a.D. Just put the CD on repeat for hours of horizontal mambo
that’s funny, i was talking to jerome about enigma last week when we found out we had a mutual soft spot for them. somehow we managed to keep our pants on, but we did keep randomly busting out with “sa dim wa dim wa”.
oh, did we finally decide how to spell that, George?