We are and will always be connected to everything.

Fraud involving a Blackwater VP?, Southeastern Public Service Authority fined 60k, US soldiers killing for sport, Try Transit Week, and au revoir, Liberace Museum, we barely knew ye.

Should the American people, who have sacrificed health care, education and other social benefits by squandering trillions of dollars on a misunderstood and probably pointless war know how their money was spent? Absolutely not, claims the government.

I like futile campaigns like trying to stop prostitution since they keep troublemakers like Cuccinelli busy without affecting anyone else.

Hurricane Earl, deer, mosquitoes, wild fish, and of course, Paris Hilton.

These days, the only accident you’ll have to deal with while waiting 4 hours to get through the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel can be handled with a box of Depends.

Monsanto’s hijacking of American agriculture, along with the complicity of the USDA, has made us all unwitting guinea pigs in the biggest human experiment in history. Our health declines while our waist sizes soar.

If we continue to treat the Chesapeake Bay as a sewer, we better develop a fondness for algae.

Straight married friends of mine have confirmed that since gay marriage has been legal their marriages feel almost worthless. They no longer feel special now that any two people can marry. I feel their pain.

In the good old days when you were broke you could have a war to boost the economy, but that doesn’t seem to work anymore, so let’s change with the times and put our government where the money is: Internet gambling.

Should Churches be Forced to Sell Alcohol? Perhaps churches in Virginia should be required to sell alcohol. Alcohol sales revenues and church attendance would both increase. (Isn’t the point of restricting alcohol sales to keep us more moral? What better way than to throw in a pinch of god with every dram of booze?)

Dominion Virginia Power is pleased to let us know that the atomic reactor at their Surry plant has been restarted and the leak in the Surry 2 nuclear power plant is fixed. There was no danger. What leak? There was a leak?

Let’s solve our transportation financial woes by opening up a stretch of I-64 for an annual Running In Traffic

Is the Commonwealth missing out on a vast source of income by not charging parking fees while cars wait for hours to traverse the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel?

I was a bit surprised when my editor at The Los Angeles Free Press told me that Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, wanted me to interview him.

Says the auctioneer at a Pods storage facility auction, “Last month a woman bought a locker and found $850 cash in an old sock. All in five dollar bills. So you never know.”

Mind-boggling was the realization that the locals were more amenable to park users dumping litter–soda and beer cans, used condoms, papers, plastic bags, discarded fried chicken, and all sorts of other crap–than they were to someone walking a dog.